(SUR)REAL

Spike Jonze by Thurston Moore by Spike Jonze

2008-12-03T11:18:00.005+13:00

Spike Jonze by Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) by Spike Jonze (director of Where The Wild Things Are) in the November issue of Interview magazine.

TM: I challenge you to a question-off.
SJ: [Nervous laughter] Oh, I didn't know that this was taking place in that form. I know how good you are at this. I'm scared. All right. What do you got?
TM: I'll start easy: Did you ever get into trouble as a teen? Like, real trouble? Like, getting handcuffed-by-the-cops trouble?
SJ: Nice. Were you ever a hardcore kid? Like, really into Minor Threat and Black Flag?
TM: Is the past a grotesque animal?
[A smattering of polite applause from the crowd.]
SJ: If a 10-ton truck killed both of us, would that be a truely heavenly way to die?
TM: Did you ever go on a skate date with a rad skater girl where both of you romantically thrashed around on skateboards?
[A couple of chuckles, but there is not clear leader as far as the crowd is concerned. More of a wait-and-see attitude.]
SJ: Are there any books you've read that you'd really like to do a movie of?
[An audible, collective sigh in the audience. Jonze looks nervous.]
TM: Do you fall in love fast and deep, or do you exact caution and willpower?
[The crowd applauds again. The judges make some notes.]

SJ: What man would you be cool making out with?
[A man seated in the back of the crowd gets up to leave.]
TM: Have you ever had the shit kicked out of you?

It is a column and a bit of questions, so I wont type it all out, but if you ever find the Magazine (Magnetix is sold out) so have a geez on page 85 or borrow mine.

I was due for a photo

2008-11-27T21:45:00.003+13:00

I am thinking about what to write. I could share with you my weekend experience in the horrors of Auckland and brag about what I bought and what adventures occurred, but I wont, because in reality, there is nothing interesting about Auckland whatsoever.

I feel like writing more reviews, but on books, music etc. etc. Like real reviews with real substance, but I dont think that this blog is suited for that sort of information all the time.

So I really have nothing to say, I am mainly just asking questions in my head, talking and arguing in my head as apose to on here. Sorry, but this means that you miss out on all the english spinning around inside my head.

Above are some bad quality shots of my mug for you to indulge in.

Too much effort

2008-11-17T15:48:00.002+13:00

I am frequently having those days when I just cannot be bothered. Sometimes I wish as though I had dropped out of school at sixteen, worked some lame ass job until I had just enough money to flat or travel where ever around the world, whenever. I just want to be a drifter.

I've completed high school and now I am working the same part time job for over seven months, that is still paying me the same low dollar, which I cant even save on and I am sitting at home studying just so I can pass two pathetic exams which will lead me in to university for next year. My life is feeling so damn planned right now - I mean fuck, I'm checking my e-mail everyday to see whether I've been accepted in to Massey.

So what if I pass my exams, finish university and begin a life of what I always intended, where is my spontaneity? I look up to people who just do nothing, but make a life out of something, living like however by doing whatever - how free spirited! I just wish I had the balls to have done something like that.

It's not too late to start though, I'm not old or anything, I just think I'm being a bit gutless living at home. If I were just an independant lone ranger I could be so much more interesting and lead a more experienced life.

School is out

2008-11-12T21:29:00.002+13:00

It was the hottest day today, like so deathly hot I couldnt handle it and am still over heating in nothing at the moment.

So it was my last day of school today and my gosh the day would not end! At leavers assembly people were singing, rapping and yapping away while tears leaked and balloons popped. It was mildly painful to sit there for two hours. I guess one thing I regret at my two years at WHS is that I didnt make many friends - I dont think I was hated, although I am sure some people there do strongly dislike me, it is just I didnt make the kind of friends who you spend your lunch times and weekends with and sometimes that can be awkward and embarrassing when it comes to those situations of needing at least one person to stick to.

I am currently in an odd state of mind and it isnt just finishing school. Getting broken text messages at of the blue really screw with my head because I am such an analyzer - I almost always end up convincing myself it is the worst case scenerio and get in a really shitty mood.

I just need to be in an atmosphere where everything doesnt feel so complicated and communication isnt a barrier.

Not another Saturday night

2008-11-10T17:01:00.004+13:00

Saturday keeps replying in my head. Zoe popped in to work with my paid off Holga and then after work Edward, Dan, Josh, Olwyn and I went to vote - that thrill lasted two minutes... two ticks! I caught on to the lamest and somewhat most surreal feeling - realising that I have human rights.

That night I went to Mighty Mighty with the usual crowd of Megan, Khounthear, Olwyn, Ben, Joellene and plus and minus a few faces. The Tutts were playing and I was in my boozed up wonderland. Eventually I lost the majority of people I knew that night but ended up being introduced to a bunch of new [who-seem-sweet] people thanks to Angus. There was a lot of dancing... swing dancing? I assume that is how I ripped my brand new Alice McCall skirt... and there were camera flashes everywhere, as I experimented with my first Holga film.

Conversations from that night still make me blush and episodes from that night I still dont recall. The last thing I remember was sitting around in my tights and Josh's shirt, eating the best home made chips that Timmy made before crashing out in mid-morning hours at the Torrens flat.

It seems like just another Saturday night but I am still smiling and running on a really good buzz, so I must have had a really special time!

As for school I have completed all full days at school. This week is all messed up half days with Wednesday being our final day and farewell. I handed in my photography and design portfolios on Thursday evening at six thirty and now all I have to do is sit an exam on the 19th and one of the 20th, before heading to Auckland for the weekend - which I'll admint, will probably be the biggest waste of time and money! But whatever...

Advice

2008-11-05T23:04:00.002+13:00

To all those who still have years of high school ahead of them, my advice to you is not to take more than one art subject unless you are seriously dedicated.

Tomorrow I have two portfolios due, photography and design. For the past couple of weeks I have been sleep deprived, gone from having no appetite to binge eating on anything, lost sight of my social life, taken extra days off work (no money!) and I cannot find where I put my mind.

It turely is the 11th hour and I still have five photography college compositions to string up aswell as four to eight double page spreads for design. I have been one of the many students who have made sacrafices to get their work done and I am still not finished.

I am absolutely amazed at how some students at my school are managing three porfolios. This is the most stressful time of year and my heart has never raced so much as well as skipped so many beats. I cannot strain how much of a bad idea it is taking more the one art subject, you truely have to stay focused, up to speed, check in with teachers regularly, have the most outstanding attendance and dedication if you want to pass without going fucking crazy.

I am going fucking crazy...

On the bright side, once they are done, they're done. This Friday is a teacher only day so I can chill out and have a long weekend before hitting the books to study for my two exams, which are in two weeks. After November 20th I have completed high school and (fingers crossed) passed level 3 (or atleast got UE).

Three line paragraphs are pointless, as is this blog

2008-11-03T19:47:00.005+13:00

Oh dear, try having a fantastic photography teacher who you dont want to hate, but who happens changes the whole direction of your portfolio with five days until the deadline.

I now have three days until my portfolios are due. My photography one is now seriously lacking as I have had to start from scratch. This is so painful for me and all my previous work just doesnt feel appreciated.

As for design I am going quite well with only half a board to go until I have completed all three, but then of course there is the whole sticking down process which is an utter time muncher.

I may end up turning down photography scholarship... Oh well, atleast they saw I had potentional, I just wish I chose an easier topic and planned ahead.

Two things that I am looking forward to in the future

2008-10-30T19:54:00.005+13:00

Where does Karen Walker get her ideas? Well do your research and you will discover that German jewellery designer Thomas Sabo has played some subliminal part. Finally Wellington is going to be presented with original, outrageous, sterling silver pieces and I am disgustingly excited. For someone who doesnt wear a lot of jewellery, I am already picking and choosing dangerously darling pieces out of the collection, "Rebel At Heart". Wellington people in-the-know will only be able to purchase Thomas Sabo at Hanne Anderson. The collection will be in stores within the next few months, so keep an eye out and I can pin point a date when I get the get go!

James Franco shares tongues with Gus Van Sant and Raf Simmons spits lips with Kanye West. No, this isnt some absurb meet and greet at destination dream land, it is reality! The latest issue of Interview magazine "The Courage Issue" slid down a rainbow and in to stores today and my disorted, romantically, sick fantasies have all come true. Interview magazine is published in New York and twindles its way down to New Zealand for only $9.90 - suppose like every magazine it has it's advertising (more advertising, less substance, less dollars = you're a dumbass) but, Interview has got the most healthy balance with a steady price tag that I have came across during my working days at Magnetix. Future issues of this magazine are promising!

Self centered bitch

2008-10-19T15:17:00.005+13:00

Talking about yourself and typing out weekend events and memories can be embarrassing. People do seems to get the idea that you are an attention seeking slave, but really, how else am I to remember all the good things that occur during my youth.

If you do read my blog regularly, stumble across it by pure chance or even just decide to jump in to my pretentious world and skim read previous entries, you will probably discover a whole new or multiple different sides to me, you wouldnt be presneted with when you get me in person. You may even find out aspects of me that I dont even know exsist and I hope that my few paragraphs make you judge and form an opinion on me, I dont know why I hope that, but I just do.

Blogging gives me a chance to think. Write to Think, Scribo ut cogitem.

Well, I cant exactly review anything with a critical view because I havent actually attended any events with that state of mind, although I will add that if you are reviewing something, anything, give your fucking opinion, be critical. Infact my journalism review piece is on people who claim to review events or whatever but actually just inform or state the fucking obvious. I could end up contradicting myself, but I will be very clever.

Events I have attended recently for the sake of having a good time have include The DHDFD's at Mighty Mighty, This City Sunrise's last New Zealand show at Good Luck before moving to Melbourne and a gig at Valve that Dehumanize (my boyfriend Josh) put on consisting of Cult of the Cobra, In Cahoots and I cant remember who else...

There is so much more coming up in the next few weeks, especially with Halloween hiding in the shadows around the corner, but 2009 is going to be incredible.

The Big Day Out first announcement has been made, but I am hanging out for the second one, even though I know I will be going and road tripping. The Teenagers are heading over in January aswell and so are Fleet Foxes. I dont know who Fleet Foxes are, if thats how you spell it, or whatever but am told I have to go because it is for my friend Ben's birthday and it will be a big love fest or something. It sounds good. I am hanging out for Morrissey who is also coming at the beginning of 2009 and it is said he also does play some songs by The Smiths so that should be amazing. And of course I already have my ticket for the final Camp A Low Hum in February.

I am stoked that I can do this all without having to worry about going back to school or not being able to get my hands on forms of intoxication.

Next year I plan to be attending Massey University in Wellington. I will be doing a Bachelor of Design in Photographic Deign. Monash Univeristy in Melbourne went down the drain, but I am still holding on to the idea. Future plans include two years at Massey, one year at Monash in Melbourne and then my final year with Monash University but either finishing off my degree in France, Italy or England.

Well I dont know what else to say really... Stay posted and nosey, I guess.

1 + 8 = 18

2008-09-22T16:52:00.002+12:00

September 17th-21st was one hell of a birthday extravagaza. Thank you to those who bombarded me with birthday wishes via technological devices or meet, greets and outings. All those contributions made me a very happy birthday girl.

Last week wasnt just my birthday but also Air New Zealand Fashion Week. I was avoiding the hype as there was nothing for me to get hyped about and I couldnt be bothered reading the crap on Runway Reported. However I came across a new blog which has been enjoyable to read as Ellen Falconer who is the author of Hearts on Fire gives an opinion and really makes hearing about Fashion Week not so pretentious and fuck off wanky.

It is adorable with a some jazz. She does not strain from the truth and reality. Thank fuck for reality!

Your fortune of fail

2008-09-18T08:49:00.004+12:00

Why are some people such fucking idiots? Are they even that stupid? It goes with their stereotype, but really can you actually be so dumb? Obviously.

For fucks sake someone who gets exposed so regularly needs to make a break through with something good, for the better. I am getting so fed up with today's "celebrity" clientel. There are bigger and more important things in this world than you.

Shit, get off your high horse, what is it that you really do, that really matters to and will really help change the world? Because whatever it is now is doing shit all. You are encouraging deadly sins that we are already finding hard to draw away from.

What you do in your life cant be that rewarding.

Fuck, I hate what surfing the internet does to me, makes me all bi-polar and Miss Big Contradiction.

Save 2008 seventh form students

2008-09-07T19:24:00.002+12:00

All I know is that during this past weekend I have learnt that a lot of us are confused with what to do next year, as we draw closer to the real world. It happens every year with a new lot of students but I am in it this year and I am sitting on a pointy fucking fence which is very uncomfortable!

Fuck you September

2008-09-01T18:54:00.004+12:00

For once I had a bad day away from my classes. I had a productive full day at school with motivation just looping around my body during photography and art design and I think that I am finally on a role with both of my folios.

It wasnt until school was over when I sunk in to my seat and repeated the f-word. It was so strange, usually things would be the opposite but because I have had the chance to actually think about my future I really feel like stabbing something.

Perhaps I should put all my options in to balloons and pop them one by one until there is one balloon left and that being the direction I take in life. However, knowing my luck it would be the worse. Yet knowing my predicitions, that bad luck could have potentional to surprise me with what I wanted in the first place. Thus making the balloon idea, well, stupid.

I'm feeling a bit short straw at the moment and slowly growing awkward. I just e-mailed someone that I look up to a letter that I wrote on the bus, filled with 21 question marks. I am afraid that it may be a bit invasive and perhaps tonight wasnt the appropriate time to send it off, but I was peaking on pen and paper and if I stop I'll never climb up my ladder.

Some of the questions I was asking was something a religious person may ask their God or a stoner would bring up in conversation for some fucked up knowlegde. It was so self-indulged - oh fuck, I am self-indulged.

Self-induglement was basically the theme of todays special conversation.

Skins

2008-08-31T09:57:00.004+12:00

I was on a nine o'clock bus with a triple shot flat white this morning. My bus driver decides to be a wanker and makes it difficult for me to pull out ID to prove that I should still get a cheap fare. Then instead of going through to Island Bay he gets caught up in a daze and takes the bus to Newtown.

Last nights Summer party was choice - would chat about it but am currently in a grossed out state of mind, even though I am still buzzing on good vibes with a headache and guts that need throwing up.

The best way to eat ice cream is with a friend who wears a fluffy brown hat. It is basically the only way to eat ice cream.

All at a fast pace

2008-08-27T21:09:00.005+12:00

If you tilt your head lightly against the window of a viabrating bus, it feels like the way your eyes shift when you are on ecstasy.

Seeing life with your veil pulled off is creepily comforting. It is an unusal and rare feeling that I try to grasp and hold on to for as long as I can, almost like deja vu. However when I am looking through the veil I dont feel as though the world is staring at me. In a sense it holds its own comfort and conformity - I dont want to like it, but I do.

Love/Sex/Death/Passion/Fear/Obession

2008-08-11T20:32:00.003+12:00

Quite possibly already this months most used catch phrase from a movie trailer of a film that I havent even seen yet.

Friday night, the eighth of August 2008 and I say fuck you to the Olymics. 08/08/08 was the celebration of Mark and Josh's twenty first birthday. Three bands played and once again flat thirteen was over flowing with sexy faces.

I speak in maths. I spoke in sentences that are paragraphs long...

Another new drug related experience for me and it has been the best so far. Words were thrown around and money was thrown out. The amount of cash that went towards alcohol and drugs was the best idea that everyone had.

"Memories are the best! There are times from that night that I cant stop playing over, they are the times that I can only remember so I asume they are the best times, the ones that will probably always stick with me. Everytime I look at the photo of me and Josh I get the best feeling and the best trigger of amazing thoughts. I am so happy! I am so happy with him! Ahhh I'm such a girl... Friday night I was totally in the present, I forgot what the future and past was. I was living in the moment, for the moment and it was quite possibly the most surreal feeling I have felt, because it is so rare with me and I am still trying to hold on to it..."

Saturday night was Olwyn's nineteenth and a fantastic time to mellow out with friends was watching episodes of The Mighty Boosh, playing pool hopelessly and eating greasy, delicious food. We did a Sunday brunch at Sweet Mother's Kitchen the next day and keeping it small was a pleasure.

What I am not going to do

2008-08-11T20:26:00.002+12:00

I will not be adding images to my blog on the film Teeth and I will also not be writing a blog about the film Patti Smith: Dream of Life.

Teeth

2008-07-31T21:03:00.004+12:00

Va-gi-na den-ta-ta

It is the syllables that do it for me. Vagina dentata, is the ancient myth of females having two sets of teeth. To state the obvious, one in the mouth and the other 'down there'.

Director Mitchell Lichtenstein bought to life this myth in the film Teeth in no better way than a black comedy-horror. People have been saying that it is like the Scream of our time, although I argue in the sense that our leading lady Dawn, isnt intentionally chomping down on dicks and brutally ending her predators lives the first couple of fucks.

There are more than enough interesting scenes to have you laughing in disgust. Naked boys with cut off cocks, one raped by a crab, the other goes blue and even a piercing. But dont worry, I certainly havent ruined the film because there is so much more to surprise you and bits and pieces to create more of a story line then just 'going all the way' for the last time.

Males may cringe in horror, but isnt that the point? I think you just have to see it to be classed as a cool kid and keep up with all the news things, if you're that way socially inclined.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of D Hunter S. Thompson

2008-07-29T21:51:00.006+12:00

Hunter S. Thompson: believed to be an absolute genius, icon, idol, boozer and cokehead of the lunatic type who loves guns. Hunter feels completely surreal; a man who plans his funeral and fuck-off huge monument years before he actually blasts off his head, must truely be a self indulgent prick and any man who has his head stuck up his ass so far, yet rambles on about the scene as anyone would, while being so well recieved, can be a friend of mine.

People have argued but I feel as though Alex Gibney did a fantastic job at portraying Hunter in a documentary format. I was always fully amused by what people had to say about Hunter, the archival footage was magic and I dont think that anyone was trying to hide any side of Hunter. All was revealed and revealed well.

Johnny Depp appropriatly narrated the documentary and I have discovered that he actually paid for Hunter's over the top funeral in early 2005.

I support this documentary far too much. I would like to say that it is the best documentary that I have seen so far in my life due to its style and awesome transitions. I think that every journalist-in-the-making should take in the life and work of Dr Hunter S. Thompson, even though there is a smidget of hype.

Be Kind Rewind

2008-07-28T18:41:00.004+12:00

Michel Gondry's latest film is Be Kind Rewind and I have to admit that the selection on Gondry's films that I have seen are slowly but surely spiriling downward. Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind was a masterpiece, The Sciene Of Sleep was adorable but ended with an unfinished ending that really crawled beneath my skin and
Be Kind Rewind gets a two out of five star rating.

I attended the film with Olwyn and I went with good intentsions and vibes. Dinner beforehand was excellent and the wine was delicious, but what really kicked it off was scoring Zoe a free ticket to the film, but the film was all hype.

Be Kind Rewind consists of horribly cliche characters who play out a completely z-worthly storyline. Jack Black's character finally made it clear to me that I am certainly not a fan of him as an actor and Gondry's lack of unique quirkiness made me rather disappointed.

The film was a let down, all hyped up with very few laughs, but as a whole a complete waste of $14.50! However I do think that the film is worth checking out on DVD, especially on Tuesdays when it will cost you only $2.50 to hire it out at Island Bay's video store.

Pop Skull

2008-07-22T20:22:00.003+12:00

What drew me to Pop Skull was its blurb. What teenager who is interested in the film festival isnt all for watching a twenty-something year old fuck around with pharmaceuticals?

Unfortunatly I am unable to tell you much about the film as I am a wuss with a background of epilepsy who wound up not being able to withstand the hallucinations and fast paced lights. My mind was being brutally fucked and eyes, torn between the attractive muted colours on screen but beaten up pupils from the strobe-like editing.

I believe that Pop Skull is going to be a film that brings together all you trippy, indie film types who enjoy a good good/bad experience. However what annoyed me was not only the fact that I could only put up with half an hour of the film but that there is no epileptic warning in the film festival booklet. Although there is an epileptic warning at the beginning of the film, there goes by $14.50.

I scribble this down in the Paramount foyer while I was waiting for Olwyn who was still in the theatre. My head was aching and black splotches were appearing in front of me. I watched other people walk out of the film aswell.

This is not to say that Pop Skull is a horrible film, because I wouldnt know. I cant form an opinion except for it still intrigues me. I just wish I had to option to actually view the film without being paranoid that I was going foam at the mouth and die.

Free Night

2008-07-20T15:01:00.003+12:00

Last night was a great way to end my two week of holidays off school. I worked all day wearing my Lonely Hearts navy blue, studded and ruffled dress which was totally inapropriate, but I looked quite cute so I figured it was okay.

Olwyn meet me after work and bought in with her a new purchase, which is this killer tarten, studded and ruffled Lonely Hearts dress which she picked up from the Artikel sale. I made her put it on and it was made for her. I am not just saying this because she's my friend, but it actually fits her so incredibly well and deffinatly has aspects of her within the material.

We walked up to Midnight to meet Ben for a coffee and then the three of us went to the Lela Jacobs show. You can read about that all in my previous blog because it was really good and the collection is dreamy. Joellene joined us later at the show but soon her and Ben left. Olwyn and I stuck around and had another wine, red wine.

I dont deal with red wine too well, especially on an empty stomach so I was getting a bit silly and was embarrassed at the fact that I was such a light weight. It felt like the first time I had ever has alcohol or something! Olwyn and I ended up leaving and went back to Midnight so I could eat something before drinking again.

Midnight is the best, I will always love that place and I dont know why the words "crepe" and "mushroom" sound attractive but they taste fantastic together! So I was making a dick out of myself before nine o'clock ever rolled around - however I guess that isnt unusual for me...

Later Olwyn and I rolled around to Kaitlyn's flat and began to drink. I ended up running away to the Torrens Flat in the rain to see Josh before he went off to his party. At the flat there was more free alcohol, everyone just kept offering and I wasnt complaining.

Josh went off to his party and I stuck around with Megan, Khounthear etc. at the flat before I couldnt contain my dancing and we just HAD to leave and go to Mighty Mighty.

The Naked & Famous were playing except hadnt started yet, someone paid for me to get in to the Mighty which was sweet and then Megan ended up buying me this really delicious drink. Olwyn and Kaitlyn were at Mighty too and we had fun up until I left.

I wish I had bought my camera...

Everything was free on Saturday except for my taxi ride home! Fuck you, $22 that is complete ass!

I owe my friends wonderful things.

School Of Shadows

2008-07-20T14:21:00.003+12:00

Screw Marc Jacobs, I am talking about Lela Jacobs!

Last night I attended the Lela Jacobs show for her brand new collection "School Of Shadows". The event was held at a sweet little art gallery that I always forget the name of, but it was on Vivian Street next to a brothel.

I had total digs on the fact the Lela's show wasnt your typical runway. Instead of a catwalk, five of her six models stod statuesque for a length of time while a large audience circulated their way around the hall. Slowly the models began to move and whether it was allowed or not the audience would interact.

Lela's six and all very naturally stunning models consisted of five girls and one guy, including Zhoe Granger who is with Red 11 Talent and Modelling Angecy in Auckland and who recently did the School Of Shadow promotional shoot.

The collection is still upholding Lela's signature style. It has it edge with flowing materials and limited colour pallet, like shadows. There is a lot of detail in selected pieces and of course multiple ways that you can wear the items. Her necklace's represented the letters 'S.O.S' so we are also hit with multiple meanings.

I loved the fact that Lela incorporated paint in to her show. Each model had half of one of their hands painted white which looks like they're starting to disapear and also the male model had "S.O.S" painted on his chest as though it was one of the necklaces. Make up seemed to be limited or non-existent which helped to simplify eveything - deffinatly a good option.

Something new from Lela Jacobs is brow paper bag shoes with laces. Totally disfunctional but interesting. I wonder what was behind that idea.

Lela Jacob's, School Of Shadows collection will be in Artikel around August/September. Make sure you go in a check out the pieces, you will be impressed.

A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures

2008-07-20T13:51:00.005+12:00

Directed by one of the most humourous "mentally ill" independant film makers, A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures is a comedic documentary flaunting to the world how incredibly hopless Chriss Waitt is at holding on to a romantic relationship.

Whether it is a phone call, a text message, e-mail or even a 'boyfriend' character in a book (who gets brutally murdered), Chris Waitt has been dumped by all his girlfriends of the past. Through out the film we are taken on the road with Chris to track down all his ex-girlfriends and ask them face-to-face, why is he consistantly being dumped.

Chris attempts to find love again by hooking himself up with a MySpace page and when your not watching his ego die when he isnt being told how much of an asshole he is by girls who dispise him or worrying about how many MySpace friends he has, you will certainly be getting some full on male frontal nudity while he gets his balls whipped by a dominatrix and going to see a doctor about Viagra.

The ball whipping ends with a bag of frozen peas across his crotch, while the Viagra is an experiment gone wrong - asking over three hundred random women on the street if they will please have sex with him.

Chris Waitt concludes that all his exes are clearly crazy and yes, in the end this messy, slack, self-absorbed, Kurt Cobain look alike, "really believe he was Jesus" independant film maker ever finds love.

Edited and documented so well, you could almost forget that ACHOMSF is a real life. Quite possibly the funniest documentary I have came across in my life so far! Meet Chris Waitt, his mother, his penis and all the women on the planet who never wanted to see him ever again.

Paramount Cinema, Wellington
Monday 21st July
1615

Figure 8

2008-07-16T10:47:00.003+12:00

I am real fucked off with New Zealand at the moment.

I am slowly starting to discover that the industry I want to be a part of is a whole bunch of ass. I kinda feel wimpy, pathetic and let down. If I am not out of this country to futher develop my career I am sure that I will kill myself - and dont go all fuck you on me for saying those two words, because I have every right to say them. I know what this world is in for...

I often think, maybe because I am not getting all that I want now will be made up for in the future and I guess that is why I keep living this life and dreaming my dream.

It all sounds rather cliche and sick, I cant even believe that even I have dragged myself down to such a low level to even write about this crap and use such uninventive words to construct my petty sentences. I am second guessing myself with my fucking career choice because I cant seem to get out of this horrible, consistant, loop!

It is like a fucking figure eight, with one side positive and the other negative. Right now I am at the intersection going from positive to negative. Ha, I think I just managed to describe my way of life inside my head. Yeah, all in a fucking simile - real genius...

Maybe I am just trying too hard to beat the system, to beat English by discovering something so much more beyond similes, metaphors, pardoxs etc. Or maybe I am just trying too hard in general.

So New Zealand, no I havent changed over the years. I may dress different, cut my hair different, act different but inside I am exactly the same. Here in this blog I share with you a lot of what I say to myself and if you dont see multiple personalities within these entries, then you wont understand at what I am getting at here.

I am Nicolette; trying to beat the system but stuck within a fucking figure eight.

You cant always get what you want

2008-07-14T18:35:00.004+12:00

My dad says that all the time, it drives me crazy, but it acutally has relevance to me now.

I have stress issues that need some serious sorting out. My head is throbing so hard it feels like two rocks colliding, my guts are turning so tight that I could vomit out a storm.

It sucks, you know?

It goes like this...

2008-07-05T19:42:00.004+12:00

I am so exhausted that my brain feels like it is shrinking due to lack of everything but that being absolutely nothing. I am so cold that when something touches my hands it feels like pins being pushed through them.

Well, thank fuck it is school holidays and I have two weeks to thrash and abuse my body and take time to recover. I just recieved my mid-term report and I am totally surprised about all the nice things my teachers said, despite the fact I havent showed up to a third of my classes. So far this year, in level three, I have passed all assessments that we have done in class, which means I have twenty credits down in my books.

The last week of my school term was spent on my design assignment, working until the early hours of the morning. I havent had a decent sleep for such a long time, so much so, I feel as though my neck is going to rock my head around and my eyes will spiral as I collapse to the floor at any minute.

Tuesday night was Stage Challeneg and I got roped in to doing hair and make up. The night had some good times, but mostly horrifying. There was far too much school spirit in the TSB Bank Arena for me to deal with. With a 7am start and finishing at midnight after being locked in from 6pm onwards I wanted to kill myself. Making twenty two people look like crayons made me want to kill myself. Not being able to smoke, stand on chairs, talk smack on other school, bring food in to the actual stage area made me want to kill myself. There is no way, in fucking hell I would ever take part in Stage Challenge ever again - good thing I am seventh form this year!

Last night was Jess' 21st party at MVP and we started early at 8pm. I had a great time with friends and there were moustaches and cup cakes everywhere! Olwyn and I ended up getting a fair bit drunk and I spent the last of my money at the bar, so dont exepect to see me for a while. Jess looked absolutly stunning in a gorgeous party dress that she made herself, aswell as some killer pastel gold leggings. Total fucking babe!

At some point during the night a bunch of us left the venue and wondered town to make our way to Mt. Vic. We eneded up at some crazy ass party where people were all dressed up space/furturistic-like. There was shiny stuff everywhere that it was crazy mystical. I just remember having a billboard time.

Ben, Joellene and I dropped Olwyn off to a taxi, sat in Midnight at 2am before dropping me off to the Torrens flat. At the flat there were two guys passed out and Josh wasnt home so it was kind of awkward but I was dead. I made the bed, got ready to sleep and then an hour late Josh came home and I had killed broken sleep.

I was up a few hours later, at 8am to get ready for work, head out in to the freezing cold, when it begun to snow and knowing that Josh got to stay in bed (until 3pm - bastard!)

When work finished at five, after I died again, Olwyn, Zoe and I quickly checked out this months Mighty Mighty Markets before I could handel anymore and needed to go back to the flat, pick up my gear and come home.

So here I am, at home, too tired to even care what I am posting this time around. It is now 8pm, 12 hours after Jess' 21st begun and I think I am going to put on my electric blanket, fall in to bed, read magazine and sleep, before I actually do die.

My room needs a clean...

I am such a dick

2008-06-29T21:32:00.002+12:00

I havent been blogging as frequent this month. It isnt because I dont have anything to say or I have been to busy, because even though that seems like the case, it most certainly isnt. It is because, it just is because.

Expect plenty more next month as the 37th Wellington Film Festival begins July 18th and just like the Cinema Showcase Films that occurred in March/April I will most likely be reviewing films and telling you all to get your bums alongs.

For the mean time, above are photographs from Friday night. Nothing special happened, just that.

Eat You Alive

2008-06-14T21:40:00.003+12:00

Ben & Khounthear
Josh & Me
Josh
Ben, Hannah & Me
Me & Zoe

Last night I attended the Neon Sleep lauch party at Good As Gold for the 2008 winter collection. This time around Welfe has created some vicious looking masterpieces which are totally sweet. The colours are darker, chains are involved, the bloody photographs are delicious and even though there are no badges and the collection is walking a different track, it all still holds the Neon Sleep signature impacting look.

Waltz in to Good As Gold and discover their new treasure chest fill of Meadowlark, Elke Kramer, Chronicles of Never and not only Neon Sleeps brand whipping new collections but Dan Nagels good shit too!

I dare you.

After the launch party Zoe and I headed up to the Torrens Tce flat to get drunk with Hannah and the boys. The night ended up being one big polaroid gang bang. I had a great time and Zoe is a good bitch to party with! Plenty more times like it ahead.

I hate the sober life

2008-06-07T20:25:00.002+12:00

Are you fucking kidding me? It is Saturday night and I am at home, infront of this screen, listening to rain, wanting to be boozed up or tripping on something, anything! I am bored out of freaking mind and there is only so much research I can on Leonardo da Vinci before my fist starts punching my head.

Yes, I have prioritised my life by putting my school assignments first. It seems like a stupid idea but we all need it now and then, especially when you are in my horrid position of being threatened to be kicked out of school for lack of attendance.

On Monday I have three artist model writes ups to do on Leonardo da Vinci, Duane Michals and Robert Mapplethorpe, plus a time line on portraiture for photography. On Tuesday my group in film & television has a documentary concept due. Friday is the dead line for my english research assignment, which is utter peanut butter and then on top of what seems like a small bit to do (but it isnt) I have to catch up on my design typeface and logo applications and not only complete my journalism photoshoot layout but also begin interviewing a shit load of people for my feature article.

Ha, amusing. When I look at what I need to do, it is actually pathetic, but I need to be put under extreme pressure to get it done. I just wish that pressure would kick in now so that I am not at near tears when it comes to late next week.

It is going to be alright though, because I know I will eventually end up getting it all done and pass well. Pulling a merit out of the air is something I can do naturally, for excellence I may have to work a little harder, but at this stage you just prepare yourself for achieve.

I can do it world, I'd just rather be out with friends right now...

Oh look it is June

2008-06-01T21:51:00.006+12:00

I cannot fucking save money, I am truely hopeless. At this rate I will never be able to afford flights out of here. I guess I am going to have to give up on a few luxuries but that isnt a bad thing. My wardrobe is becoming too packed for my liking that I am prepared to do a big yard sale at some stage. Finally I can stick to all my essentials and make some coin off things I never needed, wore or want yet other people, love, want and can afford.

I also cant catch up on all the work at school I am behind in. For now it is pretty amazing that I barely care, but I know when dead lines become real I will freak out.

I enjoyed my Queen's Birthday weekend.

P.S Check out my deviantART for the finals of my latest fashion shoot "HAIR CVT"

"This is the third best time of my life"

2008-05-26T18:16:00.003+12:00

Olwyn said it and it was.

So here is to Saturday the 24th of May which was the night of our new drug related experience. Scale played a big part for me, I couldnt quite wrap my head around the size of things. Everything I considered to be normal, was tiny and everything I considered to be big, was enormous... Until I actually picked the objects up and touched them (/tired to fit in to them), my sight totally fooled my mind.

I want to see the photos that documented that particular night, I believe that they will sum everything up perfectly.

My friends totally rock, you guys are the best!

626

2008-05-22T19:11:00.002+12:00

I wrote the following on a page of Moleskine notebook paper, folded it up and wedged it between the window and seat on a bus. I dont know why.

22/05/08
I want to know what goes on in everyone's heads, in everyone's lives.
And only then may I walk in silence, in to oblivion and rest in peace.
N.A.E

Forget you assignments and spend your pay

2008-05-17T22:42:00.004+12:00

I bought a Nathan Smith top today, which can be worn multiple ways from Good As Gold, because I guess that is where all the cool kids go. Good As Gold will always be the place to go, even though people bitch and moan about it becoming to common in Wellington, well duh, what do you expect? It is one of the few botique stores in Wellington that have dece stuff. Plus that is where all you losers bought your fluro from last year, so of course every sheep knows about it. I like it because I always get the best stuff from there.

Olwyn and I had a successful shopping day. One of those last minute lets-go-to-town days and spend money. It was great. We went to Fidel's. It was great.

Fuck it, I'm going to bed, the screen is making my head ache worse and I can't focus on writing a blog on how seeing old friends and familar faces in town is fucking awesome, especially when they give you free hot chocolate stuff.

Yeah, that happened to.

Mr Dangerous

2008-05-16T19:51:00.001+12:00

I have a pretty sweet runway show struting through my head to Mr Dangerous by The Coshercot Honeys.

I have been checking out this Fashion TV on Sky and a lot of it is absolute fucking crap. Each clip is like fifteen minutes and the stupid break up advertisements about Fashion TV, for Fashion TV, on Fashion TV have this disgustingly, horrible, breathy and kitsch voice over. What is up with that diamond logo too? All sparkling and a mix of puke stained colours. Fashion TV is pretty shit, so you have to check it out and see what I mean. Every now and then something good will pop up, but that is every now and then... really!

This is not saying that I think TCH are shit, because they're not. The runway in my head to Mr Dangerous kicks Fashion TV's ass.

Hey, can I get a Mr Dangerous?

Exciting

2008-05-15T20:43:00.002+12:00

I just got my first pay from my first week of work, at my first job. I worked seventeen and a half hours and if you know how much I am getting paid, then you do the math, because I am not telling.

My work hours are changing as of next week. I will still be working Tuesday's and Thursday's 3:45pm to 6:30pm, but no more Friday's! Also, instead of working Sunday's, I will now be working Saturday's 9am to 5pm which is a sweet deal for me. Three days a week, instead of four, but that works a lot better for me.

On Tuesday and Wednesday next week my hair models are getting their free hair cut, dye job and styling. It is so awesome to finally have things piecing together and I know it is going to be a crazy two days so I have drawn up a little plan that will probably rip apart those pieces, but end up working out anyway.

Today I was asked to do hair and make up for our schools Stage Challenge so I am taking on that job with a small group of girls. I get a t-shirt!

It is all pretty exciting, even if you dont think so. I get some weird kicks out of things.

Torrens Tornado

2008-05-12T18:50:00.003+12:00

The Torrens Tce party on Saturday night was well choice. Olly and I went to (I'm going to start calling it 'the Brooklyn flat') the Brooklyn flat before hand and I decided just to stick to my bottle of wine for the night as I had work Sunday morning. But plans change and I like smoking pot, especially Ben's pot. It always gets me completely ripped.

At some point during the night we walked to the Torrens Tce party and quite a few people were there, all squeezed in to the tiny two story flat, with extras lingering outside in the corridor. I had a great night, although I missed Ben, Edward, Dan and Olly leaving and discovered only Joellene and I were left.

There were people at the party who I thought I would never see at the same place as me, but it was cool to have a catch up - if that is what we did. There were also those who you know you know but never really talk to and it was great to have a chance to actually speak, real, human, english, words (even if it wasnt sense) with them.

I never intended on getting as intoxicated as I did, but I dont usually get like that. It was interesting going to work at 9:30 on Sunday and working the whole morning mainly by myself. Thank fuck we close at 4pm on Sundays and I got to see my mum on Mother's day which was totally sweet.

Back to the school week and I have decided I totally hate pretentious hair salons. I mean, fuck off your hight horse, you cut hair for a living!

Punk Is Dead... Long Live The Tabloids

2008-05-09T21:47:00.005+12:00

(Journalism opinion piece)

Hi my name is Nicolette. I like the Sex Pistols, Joys Division and keeping up with Hollywood gossip.

How is it that I can listen to punk music but still manage to religiously thrash through the tabloids? Well, if you think about it, the A-List iconic humans on this crazy planet are actually running riots of their own.

Kate Moss crosses the line by snorting a crisp, white, cocaine line. Britney Spears has lost her husband and kids, blonde locks and cute frocks; this 90's pop icon has lost the plot. Owen Wilson is our modern day successful suicide attempt. Amy Winehouse, is well, Amy Winehouse, on crack, with tatts, bad hair, bad odour, bad manners and all - but what a voice!

It seems like such a contradiction to hold an interest in the punk movement but still steal mum's Women's Weekly magazines. It seems like such a joke being able to recognise similarities between today's A-List actors, pop stars and models to the previous Sex Pistols. It seem so fake to take an interest in who shoots up before going on the runway and in he who has it all but thinks life isn't worth living.

Yet I find it funny how people, like myself, are turning to such a mainstream source of information to get our weekly doseage of these A-List riots, just so that we can sub-conciously believe that anarchy and punk still goes on. But because the original punk movement phased out after its creators vanished from the scene, true punk is dead, so, long live the tabloids.

I assume that these modern day riots are so attractive to New Zealander's because our celebrities are a pathetic excuse compared to those on the other side of the world. The men like sport and the girls are so ridiculously cliche it is boring.

The best you would read about is how Nicky Watson threw her cocktail on her airhead of a boyfriend after he pays more attention to the All Blacks losing the world cup than to her new boob job.

Face it New Zealand, if our celebrities were to be put in to a list they'd be in N-Lister's (Nobody cares-Lister's/Nicolette isn't interested-Lister's) and that is the fourteenth letter in the alphabet. We don't exactly have rebels running around without a cause and thrusting their pelvises toward rehabilitation centres and insane asylums.

Maybe some of you like it that we're in such a wholesome community and call me biased for working in a magazine store, but when you want "Anarchy In The U.K" - I mean N.Z, you most certainly will find all the punk/tabloids you need in a gluey-paged gossip magazine!

Stuff you don't need to know

2008-05-07T19:21:00.005+12:00

It's my blog, so I can and will write whatever the fuck I want.

Back at school, the second term of my final year. I got merit on my first photography internal which I am stoked about seeming as I did it all in two days. I will re-photograph my prints and upload them to deviantART this week. I also got merit on my design internal, which I will settle with.

I got my Shakuhachi boots and Claude Maus leather jacket yesterday so I am all warm and happy. Good As Gold are probably fucking happy too!

I did my photoshoot with Sam Conaglen today. I had to act all doll figure like. I can't wait to see the final product. The shoot made me realise that I will never ever make a good model, because I am usually the one behind the camera and I am a perfectionist.

I decided that at work I really don't like it when my manager watches me like a hawk. If you are in Wellington come in to Magnetix and buy a magzine. This month I reccomend Real Groove, it comes with a free CD featuring some hot New Zealand bands including Bang! Bang! Eche!, Mean Street, Princess Chelsea, Moron Say What!?!?, Holiday With Friends and a whole heap more.

In Wellington for the next five days there is a big designer sale on where that shitty store NZ Girl use to be. Designers include Mala, Fabric, Little Brother and plenty more. It is worth checking out, you might find something you like. I didnt, well did, but nothing I could justify buying.

What's going on this weekend? A flat warming/house party/gig at Tim & Co's. flat. Get yourself invited and find out the address. This City Sunrise will be playing. This should be interesting, because their flat isnt exactly alone.

Coming up is the ALC HQ party. Get yourself an invite, if you can. Get drunk, be punk, snap skateboards, a dumb tattoo and have heaps of fun. Should be wild.

New With Goo

2008-05-02T22:10:00.002+12:00

It is a Friday night in May and I am at home... I have a bit of a cough and when I do cough my abdominals strain, hurt and burn, before attacking my chest.

I made a deviantART account for those who want to keep up to spend with some of my work (it is under my links and on my MySpace page). I think it sucks, but I have recieved comments from people around the world who seem to like some of it. That site is a real ego booster, haha!

I got my first part time job working at Magnetix where I sell magazines. It is a pretty choice job for someone who wants to be a "future journalist" and so far, so good. I realised I am pretty lucky because if I was so desperate, I could be working at McDonalds or Hannahs. Me and grease - dont go, me and feet - no, no!

Come buy some magazines! I work three days during the week after school, but your best bet is to catch me on a Sunday.

Look Like Ass

2008-04-26T15:56:00.003+12:00

April 25th 2008
Sweet party on Allenby Terrace with bands that I didn't know, choice. The place was packed out it was incredible and absolutely everyone was drinking and drinking and/or on drugs from, E to LSD, ABC, DEFG, HIJK, LMNOP, QRS, TUV, WX, Y & Z. I learnt that everyone loves life and chain smokes.

I was in my first polaroid photograph that I'll probably never see again and the few photos that I took of the night are up on my MySpace. We all look like ass, but had fuckin' top night at Allenby Terrace.

Nico Knew Noise

2008-04-25T09:43:00.005+12:00

Year 9999 and after that, 10000. In the future how will we say that? The year ten thousand? Does it just seem weird to me? In the future how will we say that?

We won't, Nico. You won't be here, the world probably won't even be here. What about an after life then, for the world? Some humans insist we have an after life, so why shouldn't the world have one. Isn't it in our nature to pick up the pieces? I'm sure the others could do that for us, carry on our legacy. But what if there aren't any others, Nico? There will be though. There will be some ridiculous invention to perserve a number of trained persons to re-create the world and way of society.

You won't even be here, Nico. You'll be dead. Whether it is your partner or children who have you burried, that is where you will spend you're dead of life. Oh fuck, shit, I can't believe that is going to happen to me. I'll just be laying there in a coffin, being eaten by whatever dirty creatures are next to me. Are they putting me in the ground because I am closer to a 'Hell' that way? Well, it seems it if they expect me to just lay there without being able to move or talk, stuck inside my own head, arguing with myself, blaming multiple ulta egos over whose fault it was that I am here, mentally watching myself and unable to stop myself from being eaten by dirty, dirty creatures.

Fuck. Fuck.

People with over creative imaginations shouldn't die, they don't stop thinking and moulding things. It's torture living with one in the world today. It is like, imgaination is the bitter gray and steel cold bars which are holding back my sanity. I thought creativity was mean't to be beautiful, it sounds beautiful, it sounds posh and English. Too bad it is insane!

Religion, religion, religion. No fuck off, we're not going there, it is a touchy subject I know nothing about but feel as though I should. Religion, this is why people find God. Not it's not. Yes, listen. It is so that they can have faith in the Lord that they will provide them with an after life after death. Shut up, you're offending people, they're going to attack you after this, is it even Christian or whatever to believe in an after life? I don't know. Well then stop talking about religion, it's going to be the war to end this world. You don't know that, you don't know that. I bet it. I think you should find God. Fuck off, I said it is a touchy subject, I don't want to play with you anymore.

Have you ever watched a digital clock, waited for the seconds to change and noticed that it has taken a really long time? Yes. Longer than usual? Yes, yes, why? You were watching the minutes. Am I insane? You wasted sixty seconds of life waiting for one second to change, you're sick. Convincing, but I am not sick.

Ode to April 19th 2008

2008-04-20T15:37:00.002+12:00

It is fuckin' freezing, but that won't make me cancel my night.

I love bad weather, wrapping up warm, striding through puddles, boots, hats, scarves and gloves. It is the weather for leather and whinging about the cold with friends (even though you secretly love it). Catching up with old friends, spending time with new friends, meeting new potential friends and taking a deep breath and seeing how long you can blow steam for. Having wind swept hair and rosey cheeks and nose, sipping on flat whites, hot chocolates, whatever you prefer and smoking until lose a lung or both.

It is the weather of heartbreak, sorry darling, I'm having an affair with this cool crisp air.

Last night I went to a show in town including Julia Parr, New Friend, The Lunchbox Boys, Elstun Gun and more. I dibbed myself in for being on photo duty and got a whole bunch of sweet snaps, which you can find on my MySpace. Everything was halerious, especially when Immy and I were waiting to use the bathroom, which was never engaged...

April 19th night life totally fufilled my little written piece of the day, but where do you think the name 'lunchbox' really came from?

Blow Kisses/Job/Cocaine

2008-04-18T19:11:00.005+12:00

01 Blow Kisses Blaine/Sweet Bird Of Youth
02 Blow Job Hannah/Stage
03 Blow Cocaine Robyn/Crystal Chain

Photography and design assignments made their dead lines and I am fucking exhausted. My photography is currently on display in the art block foyer and I have got a whole bunch of positive feedback from a range of students. Above are the final three post cards which I created for my design assignment for a popular culture magazine, Blow. The photograph is just of spare copies I had, then cut up and joined them up. The originals are on special paper and stuck in my book with a thin white frame and small gap between each post card, so that they join together but without actually touching - it looks so much better.

Two weeks of well deserved holiday!

The Update

2008-04-15T18:18:00.004+12:00

I'm avoiding MySpace, but BlogSpot is okay.

This is my last week of term one and I have a thirty four page photography assignment due Thursday and huge design assignment due Friday. I would be sweet, but school has introduced a new stupid addition to the art subjects. If we want merit or excellence we have to do an additional four hundred word essay on our applications and their relationships. I am working like crazy and am living in the art department - avoiding all classes except for photography and design. It's intense.

I have a Claude Maus leather jacket and Shakuhachi studded boots on a two month layby which mum surprised me with. We're paying it off together so this should be interesting. I can't wait to get my new items and I just paid off and got my Lonely Hearts dress. Fuck, I hate material.

Plans for a Dunedin trip are still in the making. My cousin is already booked to head down there July 18th-21st and asked if I wanted to go with him. I am keen to go, especially because I was looking at those particular dates myself. I am saving for the trip, but we'll see what happens.

I have a possible job lined up, it's all going down this week. It seems promising, I hope it is!

Also I am modelling for a Massey photographer next Tuesday which should be pretty cool. I'm a little nervous because I don't want to be a stink model. Hopefully I do well and hopefully I am able to get some copies of the photographs at some stage.

I am looking forward to Friday night with the new gang consisting of Olly, Immy, Zoe and myself and then Saturday night outing with Immy and Zoe. Olwyn leaves for Melbourne that day and I'm extremely excited for her because I know she'll have the best time and our plans to move there next year will just be ruling her mind.

Monash University (in Melbourne) sent me a package of course information etc. so I have some bed time reading and sweet dreaming. Also my brother may be moving to Melbourne next month - it's looking quite serious.

Well, I'm totally busy so I am off back to work, work, work! I am eighteen in something like 156 days or whatever - whose counting? I always forget!

And that is the update!

Nathan Likes Metallica

2008-04-10T17:43:00.004+12:00

Who doesnt know Nathan?

Nathan is one of Wellington's most popular people and everywhere he walks he pulls the rock on hand sign to everyone. He lives in Newtown but will walk to Island Bay to hire out movies (he always has late fees!) and do the grocey shopping. If you are smoking a cigarette Nathan will walk up to you and ask for one, then in front of your face put it in his packet of his own remaining six cigarettes. Nathan is a walking gig guide (mostly punk and metal shows) and likes to find groups of people and give them each a flyer for up coming gigs. He has a job, a cellphone, likes punk, metal and attends Big Day Out every year and has many catch phrases such as 'why?' 'wassup' 'whats you're name?' etc. Nathan also believes he should get on the bus for free and today was no different.

Nathan: Hello, Hi mum, I'm just going to work now, I wont let you down mum, so you can buy me a top up card for my phone

Basically, that was one entertaining bus ride home.

I was doing really well

2008-04-07T09:03:00.003+12:00

My savings account was looking so good for a while. I could have taken a weekend holiday somewhere else in New Zealand, but I went shopping and spent a lot of it in Wellington.

Well, I need clothes, guitars need strings, shoes shouldnt talk and if you want to pass art design, you need art supplies! Everything is so expensive.

I want to go to the Homegrown concert and tickets are $75. Isn't it sad that I cant even afford that right now?

Back to saving for entertainment and weekend getaways.

Stolen Cellphones Club

2008-04-05T10:49:00.004+13:00

I had my phone stolen on Tuesday and a lot of drama came with it because the day after I went in to Telecom to put a bar on the phone to stop the person from using it, they somehow talked Telecom in to taking that bar off without even knowing the password I put on it.

I now have a new phone, with the same number but I cant get back all my contacts. Telecom put another bar on my old phone to stop the person using it and only Telecom and I know the password - so basically that means the old stolen phone is fucked and if the person wants it to work they have to go in to Telecom, where they will discover that it is a stolen phone.

What would be really great if everyone could please send a text to my phone with just their name so that I can re-add you in to my address book.

Black White + Gray: A Portrait Of Sam Wagstaff And Robert Mapplethorpe

2008-04-04T08:42:00.002+13:00

Robert Mapplethorpe is one of my more influential artists and this year for my photography folio I am studying his work. Seeing Black White + Gray was a great oppitunity to learn more about Mapplethorpe and his relationship with Sam Wagstaff through Sam's story.

Black White + Gray is a documentary which explores the life of Sam Wagstaff throughout his career and days of being a collector.

It was interesting to learn that Mapplethorpe's career might have never happened if it weren't for Wagstaff and that Wagstaff may have never of came out of the closet if it weren't for Mapplethorpe. The pair were meant to find each other and push the boundries of photography.

Wagstaff and Mapplethorpe we're very good friends with Patti Smith and together they made an obscure and talented threesome, despite the age differences.

The documentary is short, just seventy seven mintues long and throughout it I couldn't help but to be lead astray in to the ideas that I could incorporate in to my own work. Very influential.

Wellington - Paramovnt
No more screenings

Auckland - Academy Cinemas
Monday 14 April, 1645
Wednesday 16 April, 1815

Christchurch - Rialto Cinemas
Saturday 19 April, 1145
Monday 21 April, 1830

Dunedin - Regent Theatre

Saturday 26 April, 1130
Monday 28 April, 1345

Joy Division

2008-03-31T08:52:00.007+13:00

Control was Anton Corbjin's masterpiece on the life of Ian Curtis. It is a film which sits so smug with me but in such an ice chilling way - I like that feeling, so I always keep it close. Control is number one in the list of favourite films in my head. So when I heard about Grant Gee's documentary on Joy Division, I didn't know how to feel, so I had to check it out. Now, not far behind Control in list of favourite films that I hold in my head is Grant Gee's doco, Joy Division.

So I may be a little bias here, being a Joy Division and New Order fan, but if I didn't like them, I wouldnt have seen the film and if I did and thought it was utter shit, I would tell you not see it because it could ruin all your Joy Division love. But I am fan and the doco wasnt utter shit, so I'm going to tell you to see it.

Now it is about Joy Division, so Ian Curtis isnt the dominant conversation topic, but you cant go past a Joy Division doco without the discussion of the Ian fucking Curtis suicide in 1980. The three remaining members, Peter Hook, Stephen Morris and Bernard Sumner talk about it so casually and how casually they found out about it and dealt with it. You'd think their souls were really dead, but no, they're not.

Infact what I like about the Joy Division film is how you actually get a chance to get to listen and almost get to know Peter, Stephen and Bernard. I bet if Ian were still around he'd be dominating the interviews and it'd be all Ian fucking Curtis, but then again if Ian were still walking the earth there would be no documentary - but there would be Joy Division, which would mean concerts! But no New Order, but there would be Joy Division... But...

The footage is electric. Live performances, audio interviews, photographs and notebooks, lots of notebooks. There is so much history in this documentary and it would have been incredible to be a part of it, but the film is done so well, that you do actually begin to feel a part of Joy Division history.

Fans, don't be afarid to see Joy Division, be sure to see it!

Wellington - Paramovnt
Wednesday 2 April, 1615

Auckland - Acadmey Cinemas
Thursday 10 April, 1615
Tuesday 15 April, 1615
Tuesday 15 April, 2015
Thursday 17 April, 2030

Christchurch - Rialto Cinemas
Monday 28 April, 2030
Tuesday 29 April, 2015
Wenesday 30 April, 1830

Dunedin - Regent Theatre
Monday 5 May, 2000
Wednesday 7 May, 1600

I'm Not There

2008-03-31T08:52:00.004+13:00

Who is Bob Dylan? Well if you don't know then you will have no interest in this little piece about the film I'm Not There, dirceted by Todd Haynes.

Bob Dylan is a master of disguise and in this film Todd Haynes uses six actors to play different characters who portray different aspects of Bob Dylan or what we assume represents him.

Woody "Bob Dylan" (Marcus Carl Franklin) is a black kid who jumps on trains and channels the spirit of Woody Gunthrie - quite charming. Jack "Bob Dylan" (Christian Bale) is a singer adopted by the protest movement whom disappears then re-introduces himself as a born again Christian preacher - rather entertaining. Robbie "Bob Dylan" (Heath Ledger) is a Brando-like figure who eventually becoms famous in a 1965 biopic playing the vanished Jack - a bit of a fucking dick in the best possible way. Jude "Bob Dylan" (Cate Blanchett) is the betrayer of the acoustic folk music ideal - little fucking smartass but the most incredible performance by Cate Blanchett. Billy "Bob Dylan" (Richard Gere) is a 'Billy The Kid' in a western town - interesting selection of actor, but beautiful scenes. Arthur "Bob Dylan" (Ben Whishaw) is a symbolist poet whose purpose is to serve as the films occassional narrator - fantasic!

So what do I think of I'm Not There? Well, I guess I am sitting in-between. It was great film in the sense that is was done very well and pieced together in an interesting way, but I do think it was a little too long. During the film there seemed to be multiple places where you thought it was going to end and would make an electric ending, but the film never really stopped. And to be completly honest, the ending it did have, I cannot remember, but the times I thought it was going to end, I remember very clearly.

One thing I cannot get over is Cate Blanchett's performance, I thought that she played such a convincing character who is one of those smartass interlectuals and who will make you look stupid extremely fricking well. All scenes consisting of the character, Jude, were entertaining, especially when he is rolling around in hysterics with The Beatles. Jude was my favourite character who evoked a different aspect of Bob Dylan.

I wasnt completely settled with Richard Gere playing Billy, but I think that is just because whenever I think of Richard Gere I always think of tap dancing and western sections dont go down to well with me... However I did note his brillant acting and wont fail to recognise that.

Yes, a must film to see to every Bob Dylan fan and even if you arent overly keen on Bob Dylan I think you would also enjoy. Book your tickets and check it out, you'll see some familar faces and have a bit of a laugh. Heath Ledger has been bought back to life, so appreciate the talent that we lost earlier this year, but most of all appreciate Bob Dylan, his many personalities and his music playing through out the film.

Wellington - Paramovnt
Tuesday 1 April, 1530
Tuesday 1 April, 2015

Auckland - Academy Cinemas
Saturday 5 April, 2015
Sunday 6 April, 1530
Monday 7 April, 2030

Christchurch - Rialto Cinemas
Saturday 19 April, 2015
Thursday 24 April, 2000

Dunedin - Regent Theatre
Tuesday 29 April, 2015
Thursday 1 May, 1530

Annie Leibovitz: Life Through A Lens

2008-03-28T21:55:00.005+13:00

Hop in the back seat and be taken on a journey through Annie Leibovitz rock 'n' roll lifestyle, the photographers way. Annie Leibovitz is the world's most distinctive celebrity photographer and in her Life Through A Lens documentary you will follow devine archival footage from her childhood and star striking days at Rolling Stone magazine. You will also join Annie Leibovitz on photo shoot locations for Vanity Fair and Vougue all around the globe and in her studio making decisions on the photograph placement for a book.

Annie Leibovitz has photographed all the big names, been on tour with some of the most influentual bands and changed the face of photography. Her more well-known work includes the last photograph of John Lennon wrapped naked around Yoko Ono (moments before he died), Demi Moore seven months pregnant and nude, Whoopi Goldberg lying in a bathtub of milk and Patti Smith standing infront of a sea of flames.

Annie Leibovitz's photography is so destinctive that there is no one that could completely re-created her frames and flatter the stars, the way she has done and is still doing today. Through out the film her images would send me goosebumps and her talent influences me to experiment more with my own work.

The mother of three is now fifty eight and still continues holding her high place behind the lens. Having the Annie Leibovitz lifestyle would make any inspiring celebrity photography envious, but once you've seen the film you will notice how much she deserved it and her recognition.

Wellington - Paramovnt
Sunday 30 March, 1200

Auckland - Academy Cinemas
Monday 7 April, 1230
Wednesday 9 April, 1815
Friday 11 April, 1400

Christchurch - Rialto Cinemas
Monday 28 April, 1215
Monday 28 April, 1830

Dunedin - Regent Theatre
Friday 2 May, 1815
Wednesday 7 May, 1345

Helvetica

2008-03-27T21:14:00.004+13:00

Helvetica is the most recognisable typeface on our globe. But is it a modernist masterpiece portraying typeface perfection, or the monolithic McDonalds of graphic design? Designers either hate it or love it and throughout the film I noticed a slight trend.

Helvetica Lovers are so passionate about the typeface. It was their paradise of the perfected alphabet and if anyone tried to tell them otherwise, they would proudly protect Helvetica from all evil with their mighty sheild of love. Also the majority of the Helvetica Lovers who were interviewed were at the birth of Helvetica and watched it grow in to what it is today. The Helvetica Lover folk were all rather humourous and old. [Period].

Helvetica Haters would be described to the older generation as "Lil' Punx" all about breaking the law (of design) and going against typeface history. These rebels loathed the the clean cut font, nothing in the world could be more un-attractive. However the Helvetica Haters who were interviewed were all much younger and were bought up with computer design rather than rockin' it free hand and old school.

Between the two there is quite a contrast, and as for me, I don't know where I sit - or I do, but it is more a personal opinion.

Helvetica was an interesting film and I do suggest you see it if you are in to graphic design and/or enjoy documentries. Just beaware, once you leave the theatre you will start seeing Helvetica everywhere!

Wellington - Paramovnt
Saturday 29 March, 1230

Auckland - Academy Cinemas
Sunday 6 April, 1130
Tuesday 8 April, 1815
Thursday 10 April, 1430
Thursday 17 April, 1630

Christchurch - Rialto Cinemas
Saturday 26 April, 1145
Tuesday 29 April, 1830

Dunedin - Regent Theatres
Sunday 4 May, 1145
Monday 5 May, 1815

The Diving Bell And The Butterfly

2008-03-23T20:37:00.003+13:00

Olwyn and I attended our first selected film from the World Cinema Showcase. Tonight we saw The Diving Bell And The Butterfly which is a translation of the French memoir Le scaphandre et le papillon by French journalist Jean-Dominique Bauby.

Jean-Do was the editor of French Elle magazine and in 1995 the 43 year old suffered from a stroke which had him in a coma for twenty days, before waking up with locked-in syndrome. The only part of his body that wasn't paralyzed was his left eye-lid. Jean-Do lived emotionally through his imagination and memories.

What makes Jean-Dominique Bauby an incredible journalist is that he authored the book, The Diving Bell And The Butterfly by talking and communicating with his left eye-lid. Jean-Do would compose the book in his head and then someone would recit the alphabet over and over again until words were built to contruct sentences, to fill pages for his book . One blink mean't yes, two blinks mean't no.

You would imagine that the book would take forever to complete, however it was published in France in 1997 and recieved excellent reviews. Pneumonia took Jean-Do's life after ten days the book was released.

The Diving Bell And The Butterfly held up such beautiful scenes with the colours being so gentle and vintage, but vivid you couldn't help but to feel if you were in a lucid dream. The camera angles were interesting in a good sense and gave you a solid perspective of what it were to be like if you were Jean-Do.

This film helped me realise how lucky I am to not have to live the way Jean-Do did in his final years, however I don't know if it was so powerful that it could make me continuely go on appreciating life, even if it did have me captured for 112 mintues and then some.

If you do have the chance to see the film, do see it, I can't imagine it being something you won't enjoy.

Wellington - Paramovnt
Monday 24 March, 1330

Auckland - Academy Cinemas
Thursday 27 March, 2015
Sunday 30 March, 1815

Sunday 6 April, 1815

Christchurch - Rialto Cinemas

Thursday 17 April, 2015

Sunday 20 April, 1800

Dunedin - Regent Theatre
Thursday 24 April, 1900
Sunday 27 April, 1600

Fimilar faces: Emmanuelle Seigner from Four Last Songs.

Blacknote & The HE-4-ACO-DMT

2008-03-23T12:12:00.010+13:00

This song goes out to Whitesnake, Poision and KISS because they can suck my fucking dick! - Sam Sproull, This City Sunrise

Night one of Rock2Wellington was last night and I couldn't actually give a fuck. Wellington needs mopping up after every street sweating in bogan band t-shirts. Instead of Rock2Wellington (or Summerset) I went to a gig at Blacknote.

Blacknote is a grungey flat on the corner of Cuba and Vivian Street and is situated on top of Bluenote bar, hence the name, Blacknote. Ever since I was little I always wanted to go beyond the purple door and when I was fourteen or fifteen I finally got granted entry. I know that anytime I walk up the stories of stairs to that flat I am always guranteed a sweet time. Whether it be seeing a friend, trying new drugs, drinking new drinks or attending gigs that are a little too hardcore for my taste, but totally awesome anyway. It is like beyond the purple door is another diemension.

On a more dumb note, Vice Magazine. I wasn't going to say anything, but it is been a few issues now when I really haven't been able to stand the content. Volume 6, The He-4-ACO-DMT Issue of Vice was obviously gagging for tits and ass and the only way that they could incorporate this was in a tasteless photoshot called Flash. How ground breaking... So yeah, just something small that I wasn't impressed with so far this Easter weekend.

Technology vs. Photographs

2008-03-18T20:50:00.003+13:00

Added to my stack of technology is now the latest MacBook, these sold out at Magnum Mac today which is just as well they held one for me! It is not the air - that just has a pathetic excuse for memory and with all my music files, photographs, documents etc. I need a whole lot of memory.

With my brand new, crisp white MacBook I got Photoshop CS3, Microsoft office and the brand new wireless internet which hasnt been released yet.

Today I photographed three of my selected models for sample photography photos and design pictures to be edited and played with on Photoshop. I took all my design photographs on my digital camera, in colour and then got them printed in black and white. I then re-photographed the prints and put them in folders on my MySpace so check them out!

Blaine: Sweet Bird Of Youth
Hannah: Stage
Robyn: Crystal Chain

I then photographed the three models with my manual SLR film camera and I am eager to develope the film - interested to see if my camera is sick or just insane, but I would like to begin printing.

Real Groove

2008-03-14T16:17:00.004+13:00

In the March issue of Real Groove magazine Nick Cave dominates the cover in black and white with a broze wash and inside you will discover features among creatures, including Midnight Juggernauts, The Ruby Suns, Bauhaus and Nick Cave et-fucking-c.

However your reason to buy an issue of this months Real Groove magazine is because it is only $7.90 and if you have a Real Groovy card (like me) not only do you earn points and cool shit like that, I think it is another $3 off you get on the Real Groove magazine price .

Have you got your copy? Great!

Now turn to the Live Review section and there is your article on Camp A Low Hum. I wish I could tell you that I wrote it, but I didn't. Words are by Adele Hunter-Higgins and the collage of photographs include Milana Radojcic, Chris Andrews, Neon Sleep and Rokpx behind the lense.

Out of the hundreds of photographs taken at Camp A Low Hum, out of the hundreds of people who attended the festival, I, Nicolette Alessandra Esposito made it amogst that collage of memorabilia. Disgustingly drunk, dressed in bloody rotten zombie, upon shoulders of a dirty smelly boy, making the legendary indian ohohohohohohoh noise!

Camp neighbours James and Zack from Bang! Bang! Eche! have also earned their place, along the side of acts The Brunettes, Connan And The Mockasins, Ladybird, Die!Die!Die!, Teen Wolf, So So Modern and Disasteradio. We have Forest Rave action including Welfe, late night male pool sports and even early morning aerobics.

Hold on to that copy because oneday you'll want to name drop me and show it off to all your friends that you know/met/read the blog of the grungy zombie girl.

I actually really like article too. It'll make it painful for you to read, if you werent there.

The First Time

2008-03-13T18:10:00.003+13:00

NO magazine is the latest New Zealand breed popular culture magazine to pleasure our shelves . After Pavement's kick in the bum and a boot out the door, loyal readers were left disoriantated and many contemplated the idea of a cult suicide. But alas, Fraser McGregor has returned to our matte, perfected, comfort zone world with friend Delaney Taborn. With 160 pages oozing out ink of success, 35 somethings including tasteful articles, colour enchanting editorials and a new season of interviews, we tear off our mourning faces and welcome the new born. What gives NO my magazine review virginity is the brillance of how each section is linked to the next, like a consistant chain as strong as a smoking addiction - it is tough to be broken and has the potential to influence a perfect stranger and eventually find it's way toward you.

This is our first time. And yours too, obviously. That's what this issue is all about: people doing things for the first time. Some of them you'll have heard of. Some of them you won't. Some of them you probably even know, which is kind of the point behind NO. No shit. No worries. No name, just a number. Some people think we're crazy for starting a magazine at a time when digital media is surging an, as a result, traditional media is dwindling. But the fact that the world's getting smaller, closer, more intimate all the time is what NO magazine wants to celebrate. We want to help you see how we're all connected, how very little distance there is between us. How we success and screw up, what we love, hate, think about, laugh at, worry about, ignore, hide and reveal. And we want to do it in a form that you can't accidentally delete, that won't get lost in your inbox, in a form you can hang on to, pass on, rip pages out of and look back on in the future and be surprised at who, in the pages to follow, you've come into contact with since.

Choice! Minus the fact I feel like a total fuckwit having my excuse for a review on the internet.

NO magazine is ten dollars, basically free and issue one can be picked up with either Taylor Warren or Dita Von Teese on either one of the two existing covers (I got Taylor Warren). In Wellington I suggest purchasing it at Magnetix in Midland Park (say hi to Olwyn - buy a coffee) or Real Groovy on Cuba Street.

Blow: Shoot A Film

2008-03-10T20:32:00.006+13:00

I spent my double of art design out in Wellington taking photographs for my current assignment. It cost me almost fifty dollars to get them all printed (including doubles on quite a few and a contact sheet).

Most of the colour photographs I got printed in either black + white or sepia, except for a few exceptions. I get so bored with my photographs after I've done them and know I barely like them anymore, but check them out anyway and let me know what you think.

Please do not comment the name of the store or what you recognise. It is more so a privacy act for quite a few, so if you know, you're in the know, but shut the fuck up about it.

I just completed four pages of pure perfection on influentual work. I am enjoying my art design and photography homework while being totally bored and hated in seventh form.

It's not too bad being me, I had a real love-yourself-day today.

For some reason the HTML isn't working on my Blogspot, so if you want to see the photos, hop to my MySpace albums.

Girls Don't Count

2008-03-05T20:53:00.003+13:00

The number of times that same episode plays out in my head is ridiculous, because it is pretty pessimistic. I have become a total insomniac, so I plan my future in the early hours. Who plans their future? It is basically setting me up for mental breakdown.

I have two ID cards, my drivers license and my college ID. Neither look like me, the photographs are such extremes that I have been asked if I am three different people. It never really bothered me until last night, when I realised that I have planned three different scenarios for my life.

Nicolette/drivers license is going to over dose at twenty seven on November 29th. Because she has been to so many schools and met too many people (apologises) the effect on everyone is going to be daunting and change the face of Wellington, Christchurch and Auckland.

Nicolette/college ID is going to be stuck in the past either dwelling on the one that got away or married to someone at thirty who isn't quite good enough.

Nicolette/now is a complete mystery but has a more positive future. She is taking one day at a time and walking in a path that is somewhat already made. She knows what she want and is driven to get it. Problems include, lack of sleep and an over creative imagination.

Total out of body experience.

Reading these now and still anything is possible. I was thinking today how scary it is going to be when people you went to school with and all your friends start getting married, it is such a commitment. Suppose it is a little like an addiction.

V.I.P

2008-03-02T14:04:00.004+13:00

I really like my friends. Their company is what I need and it is strange to think that we haven't even known each other for a year, for older friends it is probably just hit the six month mark. I wouldn't say that I find it hard to make friends, it's just in the past I have managed to get myself in to some really dumb groups.

Last night I went to Ben, Edward, Dan, Joellene and Ange's flat warming and that is what has triggered this blog. I had a great time partying with the lot in our leather jackets, listening to some of the most obscure conversations and watching some very entertaining dance routines.

I am not with this group of people all the time, but whenever I do hang out with them they always manage to make me feel like a V.I.P.

Sometimes I do worry and get paranoid that they don't enjoy being around me and that because I am seventeen and they're all a couple or more years older, I am sub-conciously trying to be their age too and it doesn't go down well.

Well, whatever. Things are too great to mess up and I am sure that if I am ever being too un-like me they'll bring this little astronaut back down to earth. They will and have done, even if they haven't realised it - I like it.

Rapid Change

2008-02-26T14:13:00.006+13:00

Things have been casual and a little bit strange, but not really. I wont go through it all.

My bedroom at mums has been emptied, I never realised how many events I managed to forget and how much junk I managed to store away until now. All the past from 2003 onward is stored in a few boxes and in the back of my wardrobe. Three bags of clothes went to the Salvation Army and two more I left at Hunters and Collectors today to try and sell.

Everything is so-so and okay. My answers to questions are "sure". I have never felt so nuetral but completely insane all at the same time.

We've all lots our minds.

Untitled

2008-02-21T17:12:00.002+13:00

I'll let you guess where it is

A killer mess it's in my head
Where numbers kill and secrets spill
A killed mess it's in my head

It's a mess, it's a mess
It's a mess, it's a mess
It's in my
It's in my head

I am quite happy tonight

2008-02-20T22:23:00.006+13:00

Wedneday's are good. Well, today was what I needed.

I am really enjoying design at school and I am considering going for scholarship this year too. I am not exactly sure what that means, but I have to do an extra six page folio or something rather. It sounds like something I am capable of doing, if I just stay on top of all my work. We'll see how this year goes, I don't have to make a choice straight away, but it is something to think about.

After school I went to Tim's flat (again) and stole a computer chair, what is suppose to be "out door furniture". We went out on to the street and I went rolling down streets with hills in the area, it was great for a while, until one of the wheels on the chair decided to die.

At five thirty, Ben, Julia and I had a band practise that went until nine. It was really useful to have such a long period of time to practise in. We started a new song from just lyrics that I wrote last night and by the end of the practise we created yet another decent song that is ready for demo recording.

During our dinner break, I slipped down a flight of stiars while telling the band about how I was accused of being drunk at ten in the morning by a stranger. We all laughed the pain away and now I have a bruise on my knee. I'm so punk.

I am a lot more content with everything. I feel like I really needed today and it fufilled me completely. Even if the skin on the finger tips of my left hand is ripping, my feet have taken a beaten and my throat has an itch.

I love composing music, being mildly useless at it but having two talented friends working with me to create something I only use to describe as a "I want" - now, I have.

I am a bit pissed off today

2008-02-19T16:11:00.005+13:00

I dont like bad words about me coming out of mouths from people who have small dicks. I think that being confronted hurts more to me than being back stabbed, because at least when I am being back stabbed whatever it is, is usually some bull shit rumour - not someone thinking that they have the place to try and rip apart my future because their's is fucking ridiculously slow and below average.

But that is just my opinion...

On a more brilliant note; On Sunday I watched Tim crack his head open while attempting some trick on his BMX, he ended up getting five staples in his head, it is pretty gross but awesome. I also scored a black leather jacket out of his wardrobe on Monday and today I had lunch with Olly which was a great high to fix my shitty morning then in photography, last spell, I drew on the walls with blue ink.

Fanfuckingtastic.

Currently

2008-02-16T15:33:00.003+13:00

I am frustrated with my relationship status, my savings account and my almost there, but not quite yet, age. Seventeen sucks when the only guys who are into are twenty to twenty four, when places you wish to work at consider you immature before even giving you a chance and when all your friends are eighteen or older.

Dear CALH Campers

2008-02-15T17:04:00.004+13:00

Welcome back to the real/cyber world...

Such Great Heights

2008-02-14T16:28:00.003+13:00

I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles

In our eyes are mirror images and when

We kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate that God himself

Did make us into corresponding shapes like

Puzzle pieces from the clay
And true, it may seem like a stretch, but

Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled

Head when you're away when I am missing you to death

When you are out there on the road for

Several weeks of shows and when you scan

The radio, I hope this song will guide you home...

Re:
To Kieran,

All the diamonds and drugs in the world.
Love,
Nico xx

I am the seventh form horror

2008-02-10T18:33:00.000+13:00

On Thursday I had my first day of seventh form which is my final year of High School. My classes this year are english, journalism, film & television, art design and photography. Persoanlly I think I have the best looking time table at school, we are so lucky that we get to do a double of one of our subjects each day and only have four classes to attend.

At Wellington High School the sixth and seventh form students begin at ten twenty in the morning which cuts us a fine deal if you don't like getting up early. However later on the year you find some students running to school early, even before the juniors, to get in work due for NCEA and I am proud to say that I am one of those students!

I love school, I can't actually complain about it only my lack of having stress and time management under control. For 2008 I have a feeling things will be different because I am not hanging out with a dumb crowd, I'm not even hanging out with anyone (so far...) and it hasnt been horrible.

Fidel's has taken a good turn and finally got their goodness back and I've enjoyed sitting alone with a book, coffee and cigarette for my lunch time. Although I am not ruling out visitors or lunch time buddies.

I've done my stationary shopping and bought myself more Moleskine's this year. A girl in my english class frightened me on Friday, she got overly excited as though she was about to wet her pants, drop to her knees and worship me.

"Nicolette are those Moleskine's?!"
"Uh... yeah..."
"Oh my God I love Moleskine's!"
"Why is she so excited over my books?"

So yeah, there aren't many people this year I can really see myself with in a social atmosphere who go to my school. Especially ones who get excited over my stationary and for those who ask me where I buy my clothes from, forget it, I'm not telling you.

This year I feel so comfortable with who I am becomming that when I had to stand up in front of my journalism class the three things I said about myself were:

"I hate doing these things because I am never satasfied with what I say. I over plan everything before I actually begin it and I am a dick because I think highly of myself. I'm not pretentious, I'm just a fuckwit."

Okay so teachers, they're all fantastic and classes they're all too big. Time to kick out people who don't really want to be at school, don't have a good reason to be in the classes or have never taken the class before. Especially you photography newbies. Fuck off, you wont do a good job in seventh form if you have never done been in a dark room and don't know what to do, you're just wasting time and taking up enlargers.

I can see this year turning be in to the beyond geek chic or I could completely flip and be too cool. I hope it is geek chic dominant with rebel rebel on the side like a dipping sauce.

Back to school term eating habbits!

My Fucking Diary

2008-02-07T19:15:00.000+13:00

Rachael, Me & Olwyn Camp A Low Hum 2008

Photograph by Welfe Bowyer aka Neon Sleep/Party Photo

This is my Camp A Low Hum special, please forgive the way that it has been constructed as I do not exactly remember the correct order of events.

Camp A Low Hum, February 2nd - 5th 2008 was the best time in my life so far. I can honestly tell people that and feel comfortable saying it out loud. Camp A Low Hum cleaned up Disney Land in America, my no limit shopping spree in Melbourne, previous Big Day Out festivals and other concerts/gigs, my first steps, my first word, my first kiss, my first fuck - just everything is nothing compared to what I just experienced.

Bands that played: Cosmic Rays Of Death (Auckland), Connan & The Mockasins (London/NZ), Big Flip The Massive (Napier), Black Market Art (Christchurch), Brand New Math (Auckland), Boss Christ (Palmerston North), Alphabethead (Wellington), Bang! Bang! Aids! (Melbourne), Batrider (London/Aus), Bang! Bang! Eche! (Christchurch), Onanon (Dunedin), Popolice (Melbourne), Samuel Flynn Scott (Wellington), Pikelet (Melbourne), Cassette (Melbourne/Wellington), The Ragamuffin Children (Christchurch), Seth & Merle (Wellington), Set Of 57 (Wanganui), Raised By Wolves (Wellington), Sora Shima (Hamilton), Signer (Wellington), Smokin' Hot Bitch (Melbourne), Somethingorother (Melbourne), Frase+Bri (Christchurch), Steve Abel & The Chrysalids (Auckland), Sheba Williams (Wellington), Shaun K Anderson (Wellington), The Brunettes (Auckland/New York), The Enright House (Christchurch), The Damned Evangelist (Lyttelton), The Cosbys (Auckland), The Conjurors (Auckland), Thought Creature (Wellington), Oi! Boy (Auckland/UK), The Reduction Agents (Auckland), The Tape Men (Wellington), The Phoenix Foundation (Wellington), Tiger Tones (Christchurch), The Ruby Suns (Auckland), Teen Wolf (Auckland), Trans Am (USA), Tourettes (Auckland), Little Pictures (Wellington), Mean Street (Auckland), Ladybird (France), Lawerence Arabia (London/NZ), Liam Finn (Auckland), Hot Swiss Misteress (Wairarapa), Kittyhawke (Auckland), KOTAC (Dunedin), Desktop Icons (Auckland), The Family Cactus (Wellington), Los Hories (Auckland), Dick Dynamite And The Doppelgangers (Hamilton), Disciples Of Macca (Auckland), Fighting The Shakes (Wellington), Disasteradio (Lower Hutt/The Future), Die! Die! Die! (Dunedin), Death In Gaza (Auckland) and many small self-made gigs at the Lions Lodge or boat including Grayson Gilmour, William Jackman, The Rainbow Children, Punchbowl, Tommy Ill and MC Stormtrooper. Cut Off Your Hands (Auckland) were booked to perform but had to cancel due to some problems at the airport. The band was stuck in Australia

Stages: Main Stage, Noisy Stage, Nice Stage, Party Stage and Lions Lodge all came with their individual atmosphere but shared the same happy community of loving life people.

Through out the days bands were constantly going, parties were becoming and there was no such thing as strangers - only friends we hadn't met. When it hit the a.m after parties were crawling in dressed up creatures. Night one was A Low Hum Luau, our own Hawaiian themed party. Night two was the Forest Rave amongst the trees and the only lighting was our glow sticks and a couple of UV lights. Night three got gorey at It Came From Below, the zombie themed party and on our final after party was the Enchantment Under The Sea Prom. Personally I think that each night the parties would step up a knotch and just grew to get more rowdy and special, it was incredible!

With so much already going on, you couldn't really ask for more, but we got more! There was an arts and crafts room to mellow out in, this is where we made a million posters advertising William Jackman playing at the Lions Lodge and there was also a movie theatre running rare flicks every so often (although I refused to be inside infront of a screen!).

The girls and I all camped together with William and Bang! Bang! Eche! plus everday we had a tonne of people always coming over to drink or get stoned with. I have never met so many people that I liked being around and I wish I could name all of them and say something great about each of them, but at this stage my brain is still melting.

At Camp A Low Hum everyone was loving bubbles (the ones you blow) and they were a hit with the crowd. I also bought an inflatable aeroplane from The Warehouse and wrote "Camp A Low Hum Airways 2008" on one wing and "Feb 2nd-5th" on the other. The aeroplane was so cool to have at the pool party. Rachael and I would always jump on it and announce that we were flying to Mexico, Hawaii, Amsterdam, London, out of space and even the moon!

At the pool party Rachael and I got dragged into playing volley ball with a group of people, while on the plane! Shortly after we were caught in the whirl pool which was just the most intense pressure ever. Heaps of people took a ride on our aeroplane to magical places where grins were un-controlable. For an inflatable pool toy the aeroplane lasted longer than any other, but was eventually put to rest on the final day of camp (R.I.P).

If I had to choose a favourite day/night of camp it would have to be day three. The bands I saw that day were Brand New Math, Somethingorother, Sets Of 57, Big Flip The Massive, Popolice, Ladybird, The Ruby Suns, Connan & The Mockasins, Teen Wolf and Thought Creature. This was also the night of the zombie after party. During Ladybird a lot of people were already in costume including me and all my friends. Also by Ladybird I was already in another dimension. Day/night three was my sex, drugs and rock n roll - it was my sex, sex, cigarettes - my booze, drugs and photographs.

At The Ruby Suns I was on someone's shoulders, dressed in zombie, partying hard. During the Ruby Suns I all of the sudden started making indian noises by patting my hand over my mouth after the band stopped between songs. I was doing thing because I could be bothered clapping of screaming. It was funny thought because as I started my indian noises, then my friends joined in and eventually the majority of the crowd (or people all around me) were making indian noises! Maybe we pissed off The Ruby Suns a little bit, but the volume of the sound was so loud and intense it ruled.

If I could remember more in detail of everything that happened I would tell you it all. I would tell you the world, my paradise of peace in a strange and distorted way, but what is in this blog is all I have got and if it isn't good enough for you be sure to check out the photos on my MySpace and photos that Welfe took are on his site Neon Sleep under the Party Photo.

If none of that satisfies you, then I swear if I could I most certainly would show you the film of photographs inside my head.

My fucking diary,
I've lost control,
I'm like playdough,
I love my life,
I'm in love my fucking life.
Remember me when I become a genuine fuckwit
Forever!

What's been happening in my life?

2008-01-29T19:43:00.001+13:00

I don't know really. A lot of just really regular stuff, I feel like a normal, human, teenager. Friendships are great, relationships are non-existent, but boys are budding and parties are pumping!

I leave for Camp A Low Hum on Friday night and today Olwyn and I did our shopping minus snack and alcohol. We got a lot of fun things that we'll barely use after Camp A Low Hum, but it was a nice change racing around The Warehouse with a trolley full of things instead of shopping for clothes and only being able to buy one item. Olwyn and I have costumes for each of the after parties, so it should be quite wild. I'm really looking forward everything and I won't be back until Wednesday morning on the sixth.

Today when I got home dad and I went for a swim down at the beach here in Island Bay and even though it was ridiculously freezing it was an amazing, refreshing and beautiful dip. I was beginning to regret not going to Island Bay beach often this summer when it is just five minutes from my house, but I'm going to start using the sunshine wisely and go for more swims.

Tomorrow I promised my little cousin, Nicole, my limpet, that I would take her to a movie. That's what I am doing tomorrow then.

See, things are just so quiet for me right now. I just feel like I am doing regular activities, some with a little more edge, but still, nothing wild. I guess I'm just saving all of the crazy up for Camp A Low Hum!

Next blog will most likely be about Camp A Low Hum and should be up at some point between my return and when school starts again. That gives me under twenty four hours when I get home.

People are nothing, unless you let them be something.

Looks Just Like The Sun

2008-01-24T10:14:00.001+13:00

In the two hours that I have been up, I weeded the first part of the garden, made two phone calls to dad, made a coffee, freaked out over a swarm of ants, sung out loud, made a list containing the words 'inflatables' and 'fake blood' along with other miscellaneous things and got stung by a bee, then saw a butterfly - convincing myself a butterfly symbolises death and that I am going to drop to my knees any second and die dramatically.

Camp A Low Hum is near and I have not idea what is happening with the bus transportation and when I am going to have all my money to buy/find everything on my Camp list. It's going to be fun/ny though. I already have my zombie costume made and I'm killer at doing stage make up so I can't wait, but for now it is back to work with Broken Social Scene and [bring back out] the sun.

Auckland's Burning

2008-01-20T12:31:00.000+13:00

NCEA Level 2 Results

Staying on the North Shore was a totally sweet deal. Olwyn and I had our own apartment, a pool, a bar and farm with animals. It was privileged and extremely fortunate, but that's just my family. I don't remember the exact order of everything, but it happened.

Laying on your back in the pool, with the sun shining on your face, eyes closed and ears under water was a pretty lush way to cool off, but at Big Day Out all we had was the misting tent.

The best New Zealand band I saw was Cut Off Your Hands. I've seen the guys play quite a few shows, but I never fail at enjoying myself. Olwyn and I were right at the front dancing and singing along. I am pretty sure that we were the only two in that crowd who are going to Camp A Low Hum (where the band are later playing). Cut Off Your Hands really kicked off my buzz.

Dizzie Rascal had me dirty. I have never sweat so much at a show before. Getting in to the Boiler Room was a suicide mission, but when Fix Up, Look Sharp played it made the creepy crawly fluids and bikini tops all okay.

Arcade Fire are such performers, Olwyn and I got a good spot to watch them play and were singing and dancing along while they went mental and climbed the scaffold. I'll admit that I was pissed off at the timetable change, causing Arcade Fire and Battles to clash, but because Arcade Fire were so incredible I was content, in an overly-thrilled way.

Bjork is a psycho in her own artistic manner. We were standing next to Liam Finn and his girlfriend during the first part of her set. Only Bjork can have a whole brass band on stage that all look like clones. It was fantastic.

LCD Soundsytem was wild, constantly dancing throughout the whole set, I felt so lost in the heat that I was up for whatever. Olwyn and I joined Ben, Joellene and Dan for a dance, but the boys left to catch Brand New, while us girls stayed behind to lose our breath.

I saw plenty more sets including White Birds & Lemons, Shy Child, Liam Finn, Kate Nash and Rage Against The Machine plus bands that I have already seen; Die!Die!Die!, The Checks and Pluto. We heard Op Shop, Spoon and whatever else. It was all pretty go-go, unlike the city.

Auckland City is filth. I never want to live there because I cant handle how disgusting and rude it is. Although the High Street area gets props. I only bought one thing and it is the Lonely Hearts Club peace dress that I got from My Hart. Olwyn bought the most incredible Karen Walker dress and Ruby waistcoat. I was ridiculously broke with only $77 left in my wallet, yet I tried on Mala Brajkovic shorts which were sample size 8 and therefore only $75! If I had the extra money I would have bought them because they looked wicked cool and made me feel like killer slimmer.

During the Auckland trip I met Olwyn's friend Zac from Napier who is really neat. He's into comic books and spent $130 on them! Basically I thought that was a pretty radical way to spend money. Zac was a nice guy though, good company and pretty awesome. I like the fact that he was good with sarcasm.

I also met Libby for Christchurch who is the most adorable and totally cute styly girl I have ever met, in all honesty. Libby bought me cigarettes to the Big Day Out because I was all out, that's how cool she is. Plus she's the best person that I have met on MySpace and then later in real life. I'm looking forward to properly having a meeting with her sometime this year.

When Olwyn and I were around High Street I was texting Harry and he wanted to know if I saw Sam Focas in Zambesi, and I did. Whoppie...?

I think that the Sexist Sale Assistant should have gone to this killer guy in World Man. This guy had taste and style from the strands of his hair to tips of his toes, but not only that, he was so lovely to talk to and wanted to know all about Big Day Out and how Arcade Fire and Bjork were. He asked what I bought from My Hart and approved, so I figured I should ask him out on a date and we went to coffee later that day... All in my head!

A girl I use to go to school with is now working at Area 51 and I bumped in to her which was a surprise, especially because we both had the same boots on.

Finally I met Jack from wherever he lives. He carries thick fucking layers of cash, so mug him.

Olwyn's sun burnt and I've been eaten alive. Being away in Auckland made me appreciate Wellington so much more. Even though Auckland has some different boutique's it isn't a place I would want to stay in, maybe just pop up for the occasional shopping day trip. At least in Wellington you have a heart and can find a cafe that isn't Starbucks. Maybe my opinion would have been less harsh if I had time for New Market, because New Market is quite alright.

I haven't had a decent sleep since last Thursday and my body is so exhausted. I feel like all I have done is abused it. My insides are hating me. I think my stomach needs a lining, my lungs a break from smoking and kidneys a slip of water.

I have $51.50 left and a film to be developed. I am excited to see what I actually got on my film. Two events down and one to go!

As for NCEA Level 2 in 2007 I cleaned up quite well. I have just correctly calculated my results and I am proud of what I got. I'm sure there were a shit load of people who did a lot better than me but I like school, enjoy all my classes and felt as though I worked reasonably hard and deserve my result (I'm not the smartest person alive) so let me enjoy a little glory.

Out of the 107 credits I could get in Level 2 I got 104 credits.
I didn't complete one paper: 90380 unfamiliar text in English by choice, so I failed.
I passed NCEA Level 2 with merit by getting getting 58 of my 104 credits in merit or excellence.

Make it electric

2008-01-13T10:56:00.000+13:00

I've enjoyed my weekend, although most of my energy was used up on Friday night at the concert I savoured some to make an appearance at Joellene's 21st last night.

The party was totally great even if I only knew a handful of people, they were a tasteful bunch to be around. The music was loud, the dancing was happening and there were so many smiles, but not little ones - I mean, big fucking grins!

I have been having terrible nights of sleep and I feel as though my body is rejecting me. Lunch time today will be my first proper meal since whenever and I am looking forward to it because it is my Nona's pasta.

A few days ago I was crashing fast and I thought that I would end up in that absolutely shitty depressed state of mind, but at some point I stopped and found my happy again. It's strange because I feel like that was the first time I have sub-consciously picked myself back up when I was so sure that I was going to be stuck in a rut. I was truly sinking deep at a ridiculously fast pace and it's so good to know that I am not there.

Aha Shake Heartbreak

2008-01-12T18:50:00.000+13:00

Kings of Leon was honestly and very truly incredible! I danced until my feet were killing me and sweat was pouring off me. I was singing until my voice sounded like shit and the high got all natural.

Unknown Pleasures

2008-01-10T19:18:00.000+13:00

Control directed by Anton Corbijn and it has earned it's place in my favourite films alongside Alice In Wonderland and Candy. I could go on and talk about the film and give you the plot, but I am not ready to. Watch it, unless you don't like Joy Division. This film deserves appreciation.

Up The Line

2008-01-09T20:00:00.000+13:00

I joined Olwyn on a trip out to Save Mart today and I bought two items which are both a little complicated to explain, so you will have to wait until someday you see them. Well they're actually complicated to explain, but the fact that I have a headache which is basically torturing me isn't making words easy.

After Save Mart we went further up the line to Otaki where we had lunch at the Brown Sugar Cafe and then looked around the outlet stores. My favourite store was the H&M one. There were a few really neat things that looked better on me than on the hanger. I originally tried them on as a joke, but ended up liking them. I still don't have a job, so I am struggling on my allowance money, which is generous but I still have Auckland etc. to go to. I had to restrain myself from buying things.

Tomorrow Olwyn and I are going to see Control at the movies. I am starting to get excited because even though I watch movies, I rarely ever go to the theatre. I wonder if I will walk out in awe or absolutely hating Ian Curtis - hopefully not.

Kings Of Leon are playing on Friday night which kicks of my concert/festival season. Then next Thursday on the 17th I will be flying to Auckland for Big Day Out and staying there until Sunday 20th. In February I complete my sixth form holiday with Camp A Low Hum. I will be leaving on the first and returning on the sixth, missing my first day of seventh form.

Olwyn will be with me for all these events.

I feel like I am back in year five writing to my teacher, Miss Bailey about what is happening in my life at the moment. It was a class thing we would do often. Apparently she got fired, but that was just rumour. What else do you expect from an all girl private school?

Breaking the law, breaking the law

2008-01-01T14:55:00.000+13:00

NYE 07/08 was totally great. I spent it with bottles of alcohol, rolled cigarettes, a pipe packed of weed, the sweetest tasting strawberries and the best group of genuine good vibe boys and girls I met last year. I am so glad that I have met so many outstanding personalities and feel comfortable with who I am becoming at such a young age. I didn't make a New Year's Resolution, I think I will just let things be.

2008 is my last year of high school and being a minor, it is going to be fill of travel and brand new experiences. I am so excited to be living and am ready to float in to the Kings Of Leon, Big Day Out and Camp A Low Hum concerts/festivals with my rock 'n' roll spirit.

Ben's flat mate Edward can Tyrannosaurs Rex dance like no other, it is such an obscure talent that he should be incredibly proud of. He had me laughing so hard my jaw was hurting.

It is a year for hunting and getting what you want, and I want a calendar.

BMI

2007-12-30T16:10:00.000+13:00

On a few selected days I have been calculating my BMI. All charts and calculators have told me that I am considered to be healthy and have an appropriate BMI for my height and weight. I wanted to investigate further and to see how far I would have to go to be considered as un-healthy. I was glad to discover that I can still lose another ten to twelve kilos and still be considered healthy, although I would be close to pushing the boundaries, I love it.

I have heard that some people were a little worried about my 2007 weight loss, which wasn't even an extreme change. Ten kilo sounds a lot, but it doesn't look it. If I was being totally serious about it and stayed consistent through out the year with my diet and exercise you would probably see me in hospital battling with a disorder. Seriously, losing two kilos a week is not un-ordinary.

Mum use to body build and almost killed herself down to 55 kilo when she was in her thirties. I know when to stop and I have family around me who make sure I am eating and balancing that act with exercise.

You think those "friends" who were truly worried and cared would say something to me about it. However, if there were any of you who were freaking out that I wasn't going to be the fat girl anymore, read now, that I am healthy and that when I take on 2008 and choose to drop even more weight I will still remain healthy.

Sometimes I do wish I didn't care about my weight, but I think I always will unless I wish I was naturally slim or look the way I want. I like making goals to focus on and challenges to shock people.

Too much love, not enough cocaine

2007-12-29T22:08:00.000+13:00

Island Bay

To be honest, I cannot exactly remember what has happened lately. Everything really just became and nothing never existed.

I remember Christmas, mainly because my wake up call was at 3am so that I could take mum and her friend to the airport, plus I reeled in some amazing Christmas presents and more are to return from Melbourne with mum. The 25th was quiet, it was different for 2007.

My tasteless, yet passionate relationship for cocaine has just expanded and a blanket covered my head the other night, when it was all I could think and care about. How can a drug be that effective on me when I am yet to still do it. I woke up that morning with a fuzzy nose and feeling sick as though I took a line down that night.

There have been new people weaving in to my life and I have quietly shown others the door. At times I don't know if I can handle so much attention, when I haven't even done anything. It feels like I am just getting acknowledged for existing which is totally strange.

I'll admit, I am proud of myself for being able to maintain a smile for so long. I love life, living and all the bullshit and peace that comes with it.

'Cause when the smack begins to flow

Then I really don't care anymore

Ah, when the heroin is in my blood

And that blood is in my head

Then thank God that I'm as good as dead

Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care

And I guess I just don't know

See this night through

2007-12-22T20:16:00.000+13:00

Island Bay

The last couple of days have been a delight. On Friday morning I was up early to look after the three best kids ever. The twins just had their tenth birthdays and they youngest, Markus just turned six. One of their presents was a half pipe in their backyard! It is pretty cool and we spent the majority of our time skateboarding about. I am -to no surprise- still as useless as ever.

One outfit down, fourty dollars richer and I am home again only to change my top and sneakers for heels. George and Cam are two friends I made during my intermediate years and we only really see each other once or twice a year now, but they saw me waiting at the bus stop and offered a ride in to town.

In outfit number two I am riding in a car with boys and discussing smoking pipes, school, bands and whatever else comes from the mix. We park on Courtnay Place and I want to vomit at the smell of eleven year old skank. Soon the three of us split as I am meant to pick up dry cleaning and the boys have Christmas shopping to do - I don't know who I would rather be, both events are pretty daunting.

After a short while from bumping in to friends from my past, I am later dragged off one side of the street and to Starbucks on Lambton Quay. I want to vomit at the smell of caffeine bad for the environment. My friend Martinique tells me that she's hanging out with an old friend Bella and I heard Bella just got head girl at my first college, so I figure way not congratulate her, plus I still quite like her. We sit and chat for a while, doing whatever it is girls do and blah blah blah. Eventually as we walk off, we drift away from each other and I am on my way elsewhere.

I am almost at Olwyn's work, finally my purpose in to town which was to give Olwyn her Christmas present. I arrive just as a million people want their drinks. Four banana milkshakes, two chocolate, two strawberry, two coke spiders and some coffees. The whole time Olwyn is making whatever I am talking about everything, well not everything, mainly Auckland and Mighty Boosh. Crouton, crouton.

Olwyn's boss pops up and he gives me the creeps so I get ready to run away but he beats me to it. Therefore I win and leave after I get my milkshake, coffee and carmel... what?! Next thing you know and I am on a bus back to Island Bay, texting (another) Cam while the three girls and their one of their mums talk the way they dress, absolute rubbish. I want to vomit at the fact one girl thinks matching a cheaply made, metal, paua shell necklace with some disgusting bronze looking earring, obviously from one of those shit jewellery stores like Equip or Bling.

I arrive home, ditch outfit number two, for number three. High waisted black shorts with my Nom*D tee tucked in, little white shoes and small bag. I have five minutes to meet Cam at the park so I am out the door in a rush. I don't know why I rushed though, Cam is never on time, ever. He sucks at time, so much so, that he probably has a text on his phone saying "you suck at time".

Finally he shows up and we're on the swings and within seconds out inner child comes out. It gets boring and our attention span is caught short, so it is a walk around the beach. Cam and I spend the afternoon climbing rocks and discovering rock pools. One looked like someone threw up in it and another looked like an old man shaved his pubes in one - disgusting.

Cam and I sat out on the rock furthest away from land and the waves were crashing close, almost soaking our feet, but we managed to get away before the seventh wave hit. While we hung out we discussed a whole lot of nothing about something and found a dried up blow fish (or as Cam would say: The pineapple of the sea) For a good five or so minutes we're finding the biggest rocks in the area and trying to smash up this blow fish. They're so fucking tough it took forever.

I just had a really good time.

Today Dario and I finished our Christmas shopping, watched cricket at The Basin, drove around town and the bays and did a big clean up before dad got home.

Later this evening a charity came knocking at the door and we donated ten dollars. There was a four piece brass band playing outside our gate and we requested Silent Night (I don't know why) the band played it and it was really neat. So fucking American stereotypical though, I couldn't help but to fall on my knees and laugh.

Only in Island Bay.

I am feeling so amazingly relaxed, I spent this afternoon on the deck reading a book in the sun with a beer. My body feels cleansed and I can't get over this light feeling.

This blog is one of those horrible ones, when the person goes on about their day and what has currently happened in their life, which seems like nothing. No one actually cares about these blogs, there is no gossip, there is no real thrill, it's just a memory and one big fucking cliche!

Black

2007-12-19T19:21:00.000+13:00

Photographs edited by Rebecca Hunter

Today I went on a bus ride in to town to stop off at Zambesi and lay by a Nom*D skirt. Town was so wet and I loved every drip of rain, although I cut my day short and came home to
snuggle up in my hoodie.

I like what I eat, or lack of.

The temptation is great

2007-12-18T19:53:00.000+13:00

I like incredible brains that provide you with interesting conversation topics, questions to discus, ponder or debate over and have ideas that make me think that they're a genius.

If you can walk down the street with me and make us look like a fit couple who compliment each other, then you obviously deserve some special attention.

If you can make me hate you as much as I like you, then I will want you even more. A fuck wit who secretly is mad for me will turn me on, but make sure that I know that you like me.

I hope you're somewhat fucking crazy, but level enough to know when to come back down to earth.

Comfortable silences and communicating with me telepathically over coffee and cigarettes would make everything so much more intense.

I cannot resist it.

Discovered Film

2007-12-15T22:01:00.001+13:00

At the beginning of this year I took a film on my SLR camera. I thought I lost the film that I took but months later I found a film which hadn't been developed. I didn't have time to process the film at school because of my photography assignments, plus it was a colour film and I was only doing black and white photography at school. Eventually I got the film developed and discovered that I had quite a cool stack of photos.

The display of photos I have above are from that stack off the re-discovered film. The photographs of the two blond females were taken during a lunch time at Hell's Pizza and the photograph of the male was taken at Fidel's during morning coffee.

Coffee & Cigarettes

2007-12-15T14:56:00.000+13:00

Mulholland Dr. (take one): Intellectual conversations about star signs and astrology with Jason at Midnight Esspressoholic at midday ended after one soy latte. Jason and I headed to his room at the Black Note flat and watched Mulholland Dr. The DVD went mental halfway through so we never finished the film, however I was enjoying it, especially Naomi Watts cliche acting. I look forward to beginning the film again at some point.

"So what does make you tick? Hm? Tell me."
"Things that really blow me away and make me feel so fucking amazing. Like songs, artwork, places and people. That rare burst of incredible. I run on that fuel."
"Existenstenial romantic are we? That's cool. Real awesome, but quite familiar too."
"Why familiar?"
"Do you let people know your emotions or do you feel you have a pin cushion heart and don't let anyone get close to you?"
"I flick between the two. I have to be able to trust someone before I open up to them."
"Hm. How easy is it for someone to earn your trust?"
"It all depends on the person, how I feel around them and what vibe I get. I will go with my instinct."
"I need to know you better. See your dark side and shit. What pisses you off?"
"I could talk forever with you about it all. I trust you so I'm willing to tell you everything you want to know someday."

Jason and I ended up talking until subjects became touchy, awkward or depressing. I think I learnt a lot from our conversation. I love indulging in to the company of a greatly smart person, but I also love indulging in to the company of a complete fuck wit.

An un-stable walk down Cuba Street with Jason and two coffees later I find myself up in Te Aro, laying next to some strange person yelling at the cricket on TV on a couch, in a lounge of a house up on a hill. Cricket has got to be the only sport I cannot understand, but can happily zone out too.

For a while the latest Vice and Fluro magazines kept me fine company, but there is only so much you can read before you hit the back cover. If you do happen to get a copy of Fluro go and acknowledge Harry modeling in the photo shoot: Beauty Is Order And Love Is Light.

Seven o'clock ticks on by and the gig I am meant to attend started half an hour ago. Eventually the strange yelling person and I leave the Te Aro house and then I leave them on the street to run off on my own adventures.

The gig was at OS9 and I was attending so that I could watch The Actualities. The band played another great set and for an AA gig they had a fantastic audience with a crew dancing and singing along to their songs. I was surprised to see a handful or 18+ characters at the gig partying up with the young'uns before Architecture In Helsinki at San Fransisco Bath House.

Many bands played at the OS9 gig and my friend/drummer Ben who set up the gig designed it so that there were two stages. He did a really good job and some great bands played and a good crowd came out to the show. It was great to see him freaking out at some points, especially because the night planned out well.

In the crowd I met a some one called Deakin who surprising turned seventeen two weeks ago. It was cool to actually meet a new person who was my age, seemed older and was good company. Deakin plays in the band the Lunchbox Boys, I have never heard them before, but he made sure that I was staying to here his band. Lunchbox Boys played last and played well, I liked their music it was so different from what everyone else our age seems to do.

After three coffees, cigarettes, some dark chocolate and a Foxton Fizz I was ready to throw up from the loud music and faint from the hot lights. When I went to sleep that night I hit the pillow hard and passed through my starvation.

Today tried to kill me. Last nights nightmare was about me getting raped and having to hide from the world otherwise I would be killed. I woke up at six thirty to birds singing their fucking heads off and my head and ears were pounding so bad I thought everything was bleeding. My stomach hated me for abusing it so I had a glass of water to calm it down before being able to sleep again, only to be woken up four hours later to do Christmas shopping with my brother and his friend.

I fed myself a chicken and salad roll and later had a strawberry milkshake which had too much milk and not enough shake. Christmas shopping for my brother sucks, I wish he was skinny and had totally sweet style.

My body is knackered, my eyes are heavy and I feel sick from that milkshake. My ears feel better as they've been getting medical attention from The Actualities new album, Workers Leaving The Factory.

I am off to fight the temptation to live by passing out on the couch.

Tang-ent/ible

2007-12-13T17:47:00.000+13:00

Mario
Tee Of The Castle
Jacket Material Boy
Pants Thousand Reasons

Zoe
Tee Stolen Girlfriends Club
Leggings Thousand Reasons
Vest Something Else
Necklace Neon Sleep

Felicity
Tee Something Else
Hoodie Thousand Reasons
Sunglasses Keep
Necklace Love Lies Bleeding

The Flannel is Wellington High School's magazine which is composed by both sixth ad seventh form journalism students. There are two issues of the Flannel which are published each year, the September issue is seventh form dominated and the November issue belongs to the sixth form. In either June or July my journalism teacher informed the sixth form class that we were expected to submit a column for our November issue. This column could be anything from an interview with a teacher or student, vox pops, reviews on absolutely anything, a quiz, photo shoot or anything else under the sun that you could think of which would be neat to have in the magazine. I chose to do a photo shoot and got on to it straight away.

The photo shoot consisted of three models, Mario, Zoe and Felicity who each displayed an outfit from the successful Wellington store, Good As Gold. A friend of mine, Martinique did the hair and make up and assisted me in the shoot. I took the photographs around Island Bay and had no real idea of what I wanted. Initially I was pleased with the photographs I took, but eventually grew tired of them and saw no real thrill. I was stuck on ideas and pissed off with what I had done, but Harry managed to make everything okay.

All of the photos I took were very simple and had no great angles or poses. To liven up the shoot Harry suggested that I edit the photos by cropping them all randomly as if I were going off on a little tangent. He also suggested that I should call the photo shoot: Tang-ent/ible

Harry's ideas were genius so I owe a lot of thanks to him for saving my photo shoot. The name was great because it helped to show the layout going off on a tangent and the clothes the models were wearing could be considered tangible. I am still a little unsure of what that really means, but it worked.

Tang-ent/ible was published in the November issue of the Flannel.

Thank you Good As Gold, Mario Kennach, Zoe Lahood, Felicity Milovanovich, Martinique Barbalic and Harry Gyde.

Mod

2007-12-11T14:25:00.000+13:00

Nicolette
Dress Karen Walker
Shoes Tony Bianco

Glasses Ray Ban

Hair Glory

Photograph edited by Rebecca Hunter

The 10th of December was the Wellington High School senior ball and the theme was masquerade. Olwyn and I went to the ball together and had a really good time. Initially I thought the night was going to be a downer but this year's ball committee proved me wrong and I am glad they did.

The venue was The Loaded Hog and it looked like an ultra big studio apartment on the waterfront, so it was a nice building inside and looked really pretty if you were out on the balcony looking at the harbour and lights. This year our school hired a photographer which was a brilliant idea. Everyone would run up and jump in front of the camera when it was their turn and pose for a few shots before running away to dance again. The DJ played delicious music for everyone to dance to and everyone did dance. When Mr DJ played a mini Shapeshifter set the majority of the ball was dancing in a sweat and the photographer came out and took some party photos.

The 10th bought us such humid weather along with a soft breeze and it was great to be able to dance inside until we suffocated and then sit out on the balcony and cool off. There were also two pool tables for those who were feeling more like a relaxing time and the bar was open, but closed at the same time in the sense that we couldn't buy alcohol. However both bar tenders I knew, so I was able to get out of not paying six dollars for a red bull.

It was night of dancing, admiring, talking about the most ridiculous things with whoever and talking to people I never spoke to this year but always wanted to. All the good people showed their faces and that's why I also think the ball was such a success, because of the people.

As for dresses, Olwyn and I rocked it and for more photos visit my MySpace they won't be up for long!

Warm, warmer, disco

2007-12-09T22:45:00.000+13:00

Pulp Fiction (take two): I still feel like I should watch it numerous times over the period of existence they call my life. Although I feel like being a sneak and adopting the catch phrase warm, warmer, disco.

Fighting The Shakes played a small show at Real Groovy early Friday night. The last time I watched the band was at the most amazing house party/gig in Te Aro at the start of this year so it was good to be able to watch the band perform again, even in a CD store where the atmosphere to party is extremely limited. Nine more months of being a minor before I can finally enter the gateway of not having enjoyment restrictions.

The CD Store on Cuba Street had The Actualities playing a set on Saturday afternoon. You would think that because the CD Store is not as elite as Real Groovy the atmosphere to party would be even more so limited, however we were entertained for ten minutes by a drunk-ess wearing the most unflattering top dancing away to the bands incredible sound. After those ten amusing minutes, the drunk-ess became annoying and a disturbance, claiming that her father owned the Tui brewery. She was asked to leave, but only moments later water was being thrown and a punch to the head was let out of its cage. The Actualities managed to continue playing their set and still held the crowd like a metal to a magnet. I bought the bands CD and spent this morning re-exploring their sound.

Wellington musicians and bands have been satisfying my ears for almost four years and new talent from all over the country is giving New Zealand music a much healthier name.

Rialto

2007-12-05T22:11:00.001+13:00

Heavenly Creatures (take two): At eight thirty I decided to re-trigger my mind with the beauty in the film Heavenly Creatures. There are multiple scenes when Juliet and Pauline bathe together and each shot is just so incredibly paralyzing. The use of colour tones in the individual scenes are so placid but scream mental fuck up.

The First Date

2007-12-05T13:15:00.000+13:00

Ben Drums and vocals
Julia Keys and vocals
Nico Guitar and vocals

Sweet sweet casual
Turn around touch the ground
Bags not me

The Runaway

2007-12-03T13:53:00.000+13:00

All the girls are running free
They opened their eyes, their legs and lies
All the girls wear lace and strings
Sex and lust to please and tease
All the girls, all the girls, all the girls
Are running free to spoon in beds
To fufill their needs
Their needs