Too much love, not enough cocaine

Island Bay

To be honest, I cannot exactly remember what has happened lately. Everything really just became and nothing never existed.

I remember Christmas, mainly because my wake up call was at 3am so that I could take mum and her friend to the airport, plus I reeled in some amazing Christmas presents and more are to return from Melbourne with mum. The 25th was quiet, it was different for 2007.

My tasteless, yet passionate relationship for cocaine has just expanded and a blanket covered my head the other night, when it was all I could think and care about. How can a drug be that effective on me when I am yet to still do it. I woke up that morning with a fuzzy nose and feeling sick as though I took a line down that night.

There have been new people weaving in to my life and I have quietly shown others the door. At times I don't know if I can handle so much attention, when I haven't even done anything. It feels like I am just getting acknowledged for existing which is totally strange.

I'll admit, I am proud of myself for being able to maintain a smile for so long. I love life, living and all the bullshit and peace that comes with it.

'Cause when the smack begins to flow

Then I really don't care anymore

Ah, when the heroin is in my blood

And that blood is in my head

Then thank God that I'm as good as dead

Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care

And I guess I just don't know

And I guess I just don't know