Teeth

Va-gi-na den-ta-ta

It is the syllables that do it for me. Vagina dentata, is the ancient myth of females having two sets of teeth. To state the obvious, one in the mouth and the other 'down there'.

Director Mitchell Lichtenstein bought to life this myth in the film Teeth in no better way than a black comedy-horror. People have been saying that it is like the Scream of our time, although I argue in the sense that our leading lady Dawn, isnt intentionally chomping down on dicks and brutally ending her predators lives the first couple of fucks.

There are more than enough interesting scenes to have you laughing in disgust. Naked boys with cut off cocks, one raped by a crab, the other goes blue and even a piercing. But dont worry, I certainly havent ruined the film because there is so much more to surprise you and bits and pieces to create more of a story line then just 'going all the way' for the last time.

Males may cringe in horror, but isnt that the point? I think you just have to see it to be classed as a cool kid and keep up with all the news things, if you're that way socially inclined.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of D Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter S. Thompson: believed to be an absolute genius, icon, idol, boozer and cokehead of the lunatic type who loves guns. Hunter feels completely surreal; a man who plans his funeral and fuck-off huge monument years before he actually blasts off his head, must truely be a self indulgent prick and any man who has his head stuck up his ass so far, yet rambles on about the scene as anyone would, while being so well recieved, can be a friend of mine.

People have argued but I feel as though Alex Gibney did a fantastic job at portraying Hunter in a documentary format. I was always fully amused by what people had to say about Hunter, the archival footage was magic and I dont think that anyone was trying to hide any side of Hunter. All was revealed and revealed well.

Johnny Depp appropriatly narrated the documentary and I have discovered that he actually paid for Hunter's over the top funeral in early 2005.

I support this documentary far too much. I would like to say that it is the best documentary that I have seen so far in my life due to its style and awesome transitions. I think that every journalist-in-the-making should take in the life and work of Dr Hunter S. Thompson, even though there is a smidget of hype.

Be Kind Rewind

Michel Gondry's latest film is Be Kind Rewind and I have to admit that the selection on Gondry's films that I have seen are slowly but surely spiriling downward. Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind was a masterpiece, The Sciene Of Sleep was adorable but ended with an unfinished ending that really crawled beneath my skin and
Be Kind Rewind gets a two out of five star rating.

I attended the film with Olwyn and I went with good intentsions and vibes. Dinner beforehand was excellent and the wine was delicious, but what really kicked it off was scoring Zoe a free ticket to the film, but the film was all hype.

Be Kind Rewind consists of horribly cliche characters who play out a completely z-worthly storyline. Jack Black's character finally made it clear to me that I am certainly not a fan of him as an actor and Gondry's lack of unique quirkiness made me rather disappointed.

The film was a let down, all hyped up with very few laughs, but as a whole a complete waste of $14.50! However I do think that the film is worth checking out on DVD, especially on Tuesdays when it will cost you only $2.50 to hire it out at Island Bay's video store.

Pop Skull

What drew me to Pop Skull was its blurb. What teenager who is interested in the film festival isnt all for watching a twenty-something year old fuck around with pharmaceuticals?

Unfortunatly I am unable to tell you much about the film as I am a wuss with a background of epilepsy who wound up not being able to withstand the hallucinations and fast paced lights. My mind was being brutally fucked and eyes, torn between the attractive muted colours on screen but beaten up pupils from the strobe-like editing.

I believe that Pop Skull is going to be a film that brings together all you trippy, indie film types who enjoy a good good/bad experience. However what annoyed me was not only the fact that I could only put up with half an hour of the film but that there is no epileptic warning in the film festival booklet. Although there is an epileptic warning at the beginning of the film, there goes by $14.50.

I scribble this down in the Paramount foyer while I was waiting for Olwyn who was still in the theatre. My head was aching and black splotches were appearing in front of me. I watched other people walk out of the film aswell.

This is not to say that Pop Skull is a horrible film, because I wouldnt know. I cant form an opinion except for it still intrigues me. I just wish I had to option to actually view the film without being paranoid that I was going foam at the mouth and die.

Free Night

Last night was a great way to end my two week of holidays off school. I worked all day wearing my Lonely Hearts navy blue, studded and ruffled dress which was totally inapropriate, but I looked quite cute so I figured it was okay.

Olwyn meet me after work and bought in with her a new purchase, which is this killer tarten, studded and ruffled Lonely Hearts dress which she picked up from the Artikel sale. I made her put it on and it was made for her. I am not just saying this because she's my friend, but it actually fits her so incredibly well and deffinatly has aspects of her within the material.

We walked up to Midnight to meet Ben for a coffee and then the three of us went to the Lela Jacobs show. You can read about that all in my previous blog because it was really good and the collection is dreamy. Joellene joined us later at the show but soon her and Ben left. Olwyn and I stuck around and had another wine, red wine.

I dont deal with red wine too well, especially on an empty stomach so I was getting a bit silly and was embarrassed at the fact that I was such a light weight. It felt like the first time I had ever has alcohol or something! Olwyn and I ended up leaving and went back to Midnight so I could eat something before drinking again.

Midnight is the best, I will always love that place and I dont know why the words "crepe" and "mushroom" sound attractive but they taste fantastic together! So I was making a dick out of myself before nine o'clock ever rolled around - however I guess that isnt unusual for me...

Later Olwyn and I rolled around to Kaitlyn's flat and began to drink. I ended up running away to the Torrens Flat in the rain to see Josh before he went off to his party. At the flat there was more free alcohol, everyone just kept offering and I wasnt complaining.

Josh went off to his party and I stuck around with Megan, Khounthear etc. at the flat before I couldnt contain my dancing and we just HAD to leave and go to Mighty Mighty.

The Naked & Famous were playing except hadnt started yet, someone paid for me to get in to the Mighty which was sweet and then Megan ended up buying me this really delicious drink. Olwyn and Kaitlyn were at Mighty too and we had fun up until I left.

I wish I had bought my camera...

Everything was free on Saturday except for my taxi ride home! Fuck you, $22 that is complete ass!

I owe my friends wonderful things.

School Of Shadows

Screw Marc Jacobs, I am talking about Lela Jacobs!

Last night I attended the Lela Jacobs show for her brand new collection "School Of Shadows". The event was held at a sweet little art gallery that I always forget the name of, but it was on Vivian Street next to a brothel.

I had total digs on the fact the Lela's show wasnt your typical runway. Instead of a catwalk, five of her six models stod statuesque for a length of time while a large audience circulated their way around the hall. Slowly the models began to move and whether it was allowed or not the audience would interact.

Lela's six and all very naturally stunning models consisted of five girls and one guy, including Zhoe Granger who is with Red 11 Talent and Modelling Angecy in Auckland and who recently did the School Of Shadow promotional shoot.

The collection is still upholding Lela's signature style. It has it edge with flowing materials and limited colour pallet, like shadows. There is a lot of detail in selected pieces and of course multiple ways that you can wear the items. Her necklace's represented the letters 'S.O.S' so we are also hit with multiple meanings.

I loved the fact that Lela incorporated paint in to her show. Each model had half of one of their hands painted white which looks like they're starting to disapear and also the male model had "S.O.S" painted on his chest as though it was one of the necklaces. Make up seemed to be limited or non-existent which helped to simplify eveything - deffinatly a good option.

Something new from Lela Jacobs is brow paper bag shoes with laces. Totally disfunctional but interesting. I wonder what was behind that idea.

Lela Jacob's, School Of Shadows collection will be in Artikel around August/September. Make sure you go in a check out the pieces, you will be impressed.

A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures

Directed by one of the most humourous "mentally ill" independant film makers, A Complete History Of My Sexual Failures is a comedic documentary flaunting to the world how incredibly hopless Chriss Waitt is at holding on to a romantic relationship.

Whether it is a phone call, a text message, e-mail or even a 'boyfriend' character in a book (who gets brutally murdered), Chris Waitt has been dumped by all his girlfriends of the past. Through out the film we are taken on the road with Chris to track down all his ex-girlfriends and ask them face-to-face, why is he consistantly being dumped.

Chris attempts to find love again by hooking himself up with a MySpace page and when your not watching his ego die when he isnt being told how much of an asshole he is by girls who dispise him or worrying about how many MySpace friends he has, you will certainly be getting some full on male frontal nudity while he gets his balls whipped by a dominatrix and going to see a doctor about Viagra.

The ball whipping ends with a bag of frozen peas across his crotch, while the Viagra is an experiment gone wrong - asking over three hundred random women on the street if they will please have sex with him.

Chris Waitt concludes that all his exes are clearly crazy and yes, in the end this messy, slack, self-absorbed, Kurt Cobain look alike, "really believe he was Jesus" independant film maker ever finds love.

Edited and documented so well, you could almost forget that ACHOMSF is a real life. Quite possibly the funniest documentary I have came across in my life so far! Meet Chris Waitt, his mother, his penis and all the women on the planet who never wanted to see him ever again.

Paramount Cinema, Wellington
Monday 21st July
1615

Figure 8

I am real fucked off with New Zealand at the moment.

I am slowly starting to discover that the industry I want to be a part of is a whole bunch of ass. I kinda feel wimpy, pathetic and let down. If I am not out of this country to futher develop my career I am sure that I will kill myself - and dont go all fuck you on me for saying those two words, because I have every right to say them. I know what this world is in for...

I often think, maybe because I am not getting all that I want now will be made up for in the future and I guess that is why I keep living this life and dreaming my dream.

It all sounds rather cliche and sick, I cant even believe that even I have dragged myself down to such a low level to even write about this crap and use such uninventive words to construct my petty sentences. I am second guessing myself with my fucking career choice because I cant seem to get out of this horrible, consistant, loop!

It is like a fucking figure eight, with one side positive and the other negative. Right now I am at the intersection going from positive to negative. Ha, I think I just managed to describe my way of life inside my head. Yeah, all in a fucking simile - real genius...

Maybe I am just trying too hard to beat the system, to beat English by discovering something so much more beyond similes, metaphors, pardoxs etc. Or maybe I am just trying too hard in general.

So New Zealand, no I havent changed over the years. I may dress different, cut my hair different, act different but inside I am exactly the same. Here in this blog I share with you a lot of what I say to myself and if you dont see multiple personalities within these entries, then you wont understand at what I am getting at here.

I am Nicolette; trying to beat the system but stuck within a fucking figure eight.

You cant always get what you want

My dad says that all the time, it drives me crazy, but it acutally has relevance to me now.

I have stress issues that need some serious sorting out. My head is throbing so hard it feels like two rocks colliding, my guts are turning so tight that I could vomit out a storm.

It sucks, you know?

It goes like this...

I am so exhausted that my brain feels like it is shrinking due to lack of everything but that being absolutely nothing. I am so cold that when something touches my hands it feels like pins being pushed through them.

Well, thank fuck it is school holidays and I have two weeks to thrash and abuse my body and take time to recover. I just recieved my mid-term report and I am totally surprised about all the nice things my teachers said, despite the fact I havent showed up to a third of my classes. So far this year, in level three, I have passed all assessments that we have done in class, which means I have twenty credits down in my books.

The last week of my school term was spent on my design assignment, working until the early hours of the morning. I havent had a decent sleep for such a long time, so much so, I feel as though my neck is going to rock my head around and my eyes will spiral as I collapse to the floor at any minute.

Tuesday night was Stage Challeneg and I got roped in to doing hair and make up. The night had some good times, but mostly horrifying. There was far too much school spirit in the TSB Bank Arena for me to deal with. With a 7am start and finishing at midnight after being locked in from 6pm onwards I wanted to kill myself. Making twenty two people look like crayons made me want to kill myself. Not being able to smoke, stand on chairs, talk smack on other school, bring food in to the actual stage area made me want to kill myself. There is no way, in fucking hell I would ever take part in Stage Challenge ever again - good thing I am seventh form this year!

Last night was Jess' 21st party at MVP and we started early at 8pm. I had a great time with friends and there were moustaches and cup cakes everywhere! Olwyn and I ended up getting a fair bit drunk and I spent the last of my money at the bar, so dont exepect to see me for a while. Jess looked absolutly stunning in a gorgeous party dress that she made herself, aswell as some killer pastel gold leggings. Total fucking babe!

At some point during the night a bunch of us left the venue and wondered town to make our way to Mt. Vic. We eneded up at some crazy ass party where people were all dressed up space/furturistic-like. There was shiny stuff everywhere that it was crazy mystical. I just remember having a billboard time.

Ben, Joellene and I dropped Olwyn off to a taxi, sat in Midnight at 2am before dropping me off to the Torrens flat. At the flat there were two guys passed out and Josh wasnt home so it was kind of awkward but I was dead. I made the bed, got ready to sleep and then an hour late Josh came home and I had killed broken sleep.

I was up a few hours later, at 8am to get ready for work, head out in to the freezing cold, when it begun to snow and knowing that Josh got to stay in bed (until 3pm - bastard!)

When work finished at five, after I died again, Olwyn, Zoe and I quickly checked out this months Mighty Mighty Markets before I could handel anymore and needed to go back to the flat, pick up my gear and come home.

So here I am, at home, too tired to even care what I am posting this time around. It is now 8pm, 12 hours after Jess' 21st begun and I think I am going to put on my electric blanket, fall in to bed, read magazine and sleep, before I actually do die.

My room needs a clean...