Rapid Change

Things have been casual and a little bit strange, but not really. I wont go through it all.

My bedroom at mums has been emptied, I never realised how many events I managed to forget and how much junk I managed to store away until now. All the past from 2003 onward is stored in a few boxes and in the back of my wardrobe. Three bags of clothes went to the Salvation Army and two more I left at Hunters and Collectors today to try and sell.

Everything is so-so and okay. My answers to questions are "sure". I have never felt so nuetral but completely insane all at the same time.

We've all lots our minds.

Untitled

I'll let you guess where it is

A killer mess it's in my head
Where numbers kill and secrets spill
A killed mess it's in my head

It's a mess, it's a mess
It's a mess, it's a mess
It's in my
It's in my head

I am quite happy tonight

Wedneday's are good. Well, today was what I needed.

I am really enjoying design at school and I am considering going for scholarship this year too. I am not exactly sure what that means, but I have to do an extra six page folio or something rather. It sounds like something I am capable of doing, if I just stay on top of all my work. We'll see how this year goes, I don't have to make a choice straight away, but it is something to think about.

After school I went to Tim's flat (again) and stole a computer chair, what is suppose to be "out door furniture". We went out on to the street and I went rolling down streets with hills in the area, it was great for a while, until one of the wheels on the chair decided to die.

At five thirty, Ben, Julia and I had a band practise that went until nine. It was really useful to have such a long period of time to practise in. We started a new song from just lyrics that I wrote last night and by the end of the practise we created yet another decent song that is ready for demo recording.

During our dinner break, I slipped down a flight of stiars while telling the band about how I was accused of being drunk at ten in the morning by a stranger. We all laughed the pain away and now I have a bruise on my knee. I'm so punk.

I am a lot more content with everything. I feel like I really needed today and it fufilled me completely. Even if the skin on the finger tips of my left hand is ripping, my feet have taken a beaten and my throat has an itch.

I love composing music, being mildly useless at it but having two talented friends working with me to create something I only use to describe as a "I want" - now, I have.

I am a bit pissed off today

I dont like bad words about me coming out of mouths from people who have small dicks. I think that being confronted hurts more to me than being back stabbed, because at least when I am being back stabbed whatever it is, is usually some bull shit rumour - not someone thinking that they have the place to try and rip apart my future because their's is fucking ridiculously slow and below average.

But that is just my opinion...

On a more brilliant note; On Sunday I watched Tim crack his head open while attempting some trick on his BMX, he ended up getting five staples in his head, it is pretty gross but awesome. I also scored a black leather jacket out of his wardrobe on Monday and today I had lunch with Olly which was a great high to fix my shitty morning then in photography, last spell, I drew on the walls with blue ink.

Fanfuckingtastic.

Currently

I am frustrated with my relationship status, my savings account and my almost there, but not quite yet, age. Seventeen sucks when the only guys who are into are twenty to twenty four, when places you wish to work at consider you immature before even giving you a chance and when all your friends are eighteen or older.

Dear CALH Campers

Welcome back to the real/cyber world...

Such Great Heights

I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles

In our eyes are mirror images and when

We kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate that God himself

Did make us into corresponding shapes like

Puzzle pieces from the clay
And true, it may seem like a stretch, but

Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled

Head when you're away when I am missing you to death

When you are out there on the road for

Several weeks of shows and when you scan

The radio, I hope this song will guide you home...

Re:
To Kieran,

All the diamonds and drugs in the world.
Love,
Nico xx

I am the seventh form horror

On Thursday I had my first day of seventh form which is my final year of High School. My classes this year are english, journalism, film & television, art design and photography. Persoanlly I think I have the best looking time table at school, we are so lucky that we get to do a double of one of our subjects each day and only have four classes to attend.

At Wellington High School the sixth and seventh form students begin at ten twenty in the morning which cuts us a fine deal if you don't like getting up early. However later on the year you find some students running to school early, even before the juniors, to get in work due for NCEA and I am proud to say that I am one of those students!

I love school, I can't actually complain about it only my lack of having stress and time management under control. For 2008 I have a feeling things will be different because I am not hanging out with a dumb crowd, I'm not even hanging out with anyone (so far...) and it hasnt been horrible.

Fidel's has taken a good turn and finally got their goodness back and I've enjoyed sitting alone with a book, coffee and cigarette for my lunch time. Although I am not ruling out visitors or lunch time buddies.

I've done my stationary shopping and bought myself more Moleskine's this year. A girl in my english class frightened me on Friday, she got overly excited as though she was about to wet her pants, drop to her knees and worship me.

"Nicolette are those Moleskine's?!"
"Uh... yeah..."
"Oh my God I love Moleskine's!"
"Why is she so excited over my books?"

So yeah, there aren't many people this year I can really see myself with in a social atmosphere who go to my school. Especially ones who get excited over my stationary and for those who ask me where I buy my clothes from, forget it, I'm not telling you.

This year I feel so comfortable with who I am becomming that when I had to stand up in front of my journalism class the three things I said about myself were:

"I hate doing these things because I am never satasfied with what I say. I over plan everything before I actually begin it and I am a dick because I think highly of myself. I'm not pretentious, I'm just a fuckwit."

Okay so teachers, they're all fantastic and classes they're all too big. Time to kick out people who don't really want to be at school, don't have a good reason to be in the classes or have never taken the class before. Especially you photography newbies. Fuck off, you wont do a good job in seventh form if you have never done been in a dark room and don't know what to do, you're just wasting time and taking up enlargers.

I can see this year turning be in to the beyond geek chic or I could completely flip and be too cool. I hope it is geek chic dominant with rebel rebel on the side like a dipping sauce.

Back to school term eating habbits!

My Fucking Diary

Rachael, Me & Olwyn Camp A Low Hum 2008

Photograph by Welfe Bowyer aka Neon Sleep/Party Photo

This is my Camp A Low Hum special, please forgive the way that it has been constructed as I do not exactly remember the correct order of events.

Camp A Low Hum, February 2nd - 5th 2008 was the best time in my life so far. I can honestly tell people that and feel comfortable saying it out loud. Camp A Low Hum cleaned up Disney Land in America, my no limit shopping spree in Melbourne, previous Big Day Out festivals and other concerts/gigs, my first steps, my first word, my first kiss, my first fuck - just everything is nothing compared to what I just experienced.

Bands that played: Cosmic Rays Of Death (Auckland), Connan & The Mockasins (London/NZ), Big Flip The Massive (Napier), Black Market Art (Christchurch), Brand New Math (Auckland), Boss Christ (Palmerston North), Alphabethead (Wellington), Bang! Bang! Aids! (Melbourne), Batrider (London/Aus), Bang! Bang! Eche! (Christchurch), Onanon (Dunedin), Popolice (Melbourne), Samuel Flynn Scott (Wellington), Pikelet (Melbourne), Cassette (Melbourne/Wellington), The Ragamuffin Children (Christchurch), Seth & Merle (Wellington), Set Of 57 (Wanganui), Raised By Wolves (Wellington), Sora Shima (Hamilton), Signer (Wellington), Smokin' Hot Bitch (Melbourne), Somethingorother (Melbourne), Frase+Bri (Christchurch), Steve Abel & The Chrysalids (Auckland), Sheba Williams (Wellington), Shaun K Anderson (Wellington), The Brunettes (Auckland/New York), The Enright House (Christchurch), The Damned Evangelist (Lyttelton), The Cosbys (Auckland), The Conjurors (Auckland), Thought Creature (Wellington), Oi! Boy (Auckland/UK), The Reduction Agents (Auckland), The Tape Men (Wellington), The Phoenix Foundation (Wellington), Tiger Tones (Christchurch), The Ruby Suns (Auckland), Teen Wolf (Auckland), Trans Am (USA), Tourettes (Auckland), Little Pictures (Wellington), Mean Street (Auckland), Ladybird (France), Lawerence Arabia (London/NZ), Liam Finn (Auckland), Hot Swiss Misteress (Wairarapa), Kittyhawke (Auckland), KOTAC (Dunedin), Desktop Icons (Auckland), The Family Cactus (Wellington), Los Hories (Auckland), Dick Dynamite And The Doppelgangers (Hamilton), Disciples Of Macca (Auckland), Fighting The Shakes (Wellington), Disasteradio (Lower Hutt/The Future), Die! Die! Die! (Dunedin), Death In Gaza (Auckland) and many small self-made gigs at the Lions Lodge or boat including Grayson Gilmour, William Jackman, The Rainbow Children, Punchbowl, Tommy Ill and MC Stormtrooper. Cut Off Your Hands (Auckland) were booked to perform but had to cancel due to some problems at the airport. The band was stuck in Australia

Stages: Main Stage, Noisy Stage, Nice Stage, Party Stage and Lions Lodge all came with their individual atmosphere but shared the same happy community of loving life people.

Through out the days bands were constantly going, parties were becoming and there was no such thing as strangers - only friends we hadn't met. When it hit the a.m after parties were crawling in dressed up creatures. Night one was A Low Hum Luau, our own Hawaiian themed party. Night two was the Forest Rave amongst the trees and the only lighting was our glow sticks and a couple of UV lights. Night three got gorey at It Came From Below, the zombie themed party and on our final after party was the Enchantment Under The Sea Prom. Personally I think that each night the parties would step up a knotch and just grew to get more rowdy and special, it was incredible!

With so much already going on, you couldn't really ask for more, but we got more! There was an arts and crafts room to mellow out in, this is where we made a million posters advertising William Jackman playing at the Lions Lodge and there was also a movie theatre running rare flicks every so often (although I refused to be inside infront of a screen!).

The girls and I all camped together with William and Bang! Bang! Eche! plus everday we had a tonne of people always coming over to drink or get stoned with. I have never met so many people that I liked being around and I wish I could name all of them and say something great about each of them, but at this stage my brain is still melting.

At Camp A Low Hum everyone was loving bubbles (the ones you blow) and they were a hit with the crowd. I also bought an inflatable aeroplane from The Warehouse and wrote "Camp A Low Hum Airways 2008" on one wing and "Feb 2nd-5th" on the other. The aeroplane was so cool to have at the pool party. Rachael and I would always jump on it and announce that we were flying to Mexico, Hawaii, Amsterdam, London, out of space and even the moon!

At the pool party Rachael and I got dragged into playing volley ball with a group of people, while on the plane! Shortly after we were caught in the whirl pool which was just the most intense pressure ever. Heaps of people took a ride on our aeroplane to magical places where grins were un-controlable. For an inflatable pool toy the aeroplane lasted longer than any other, but was eventually put to rest on the final day of camp (R.I.P).

If I had to choose a favourite day/night of camp it would have to be day three. The bands I saw that day were Brand New Math, Somethingorother, Sets Of 57, Big Flip The Massive, Popolice, Ladybird, The Ruby Suns, Connan & The Mockasins, Teen Wolf and Thought Creature. This was also the night of the zombie after party. During Ladybird a lot of people were already in costume including me and all my friends. Also by Ladybird I was already in another dimension. Day/night three was my sex, drugs and rock n roll - it was my sex, sex, cigarettes - my booze, drugs and photographs.

At The Ruby Suns I was on someone's shoulders, dressed in zombie, partying hard. During the Ruby Suns I all of the sudden started making indian noises by patting my hand over my mouth after the band stopped between songs. I was doing thing because I could be bothered clapping of screaming. It was funny thought because as I started my indian noises, then my friends joined in and eventually the majority of the crowd (or people all around me) were making indian noises! Maybe we pissed off The Ruby Suns a little bit, but the volume of the sound was so loud and intense it ruled.

If I could remember more in detail of everything that happened I would tell you it all. I would tell you the world, my paradise of peace in a strange and distorted way, but what is in this blog is all I have got and if it isn't good enough for you be sure to check out the photos on my MySpace and photos that Welfe took are on his site Neon Sleep under the Party Photo.

If none of that satisfies you, then I swear if I could I most certainly would show you the film of photographs inside my head.

My fucking diary,
I've lost control,
I'm like playdough,
I love my life,
I'm in love my fucking life.
Remember me when I become a genuine fuckwit
Forever!